window shopping at victoria's secret.. ahh the dresses are so pretty! feel so tempted to buy them.. oh man haha i should be studying.. goes to show how bored i am.. the models are damn hot.. how come they can be so skinny and busty at the same time??

linen shirtdress

plain green cotten dress

halter dress

she looks a little like misha barton..dont you think so?

sexy sexy

the ONe

some random thoughts again! that crept up on me all of a sudden while i was studying stats. hmm wonder how people can marry their first gf/bf.. envy them in a way, cos they dun have to go through that much pain and suffering to find the ONE. but.. how would you know what you want if you havent had a few wrongs ones.. seriously i believe one needs to experience a few heartbreaks and/or break a few hearts to know what kind of partner you're looking for, and what sort of personality suits you.. haha but i'm not a very good example..

i've got a variety of bfs before ya.. tall, short, smart, not-so-smart, good looking, so-so, poor, rich beyond words, posessive, treats me like some goddess, treats me like shit..etc etc..

in the end sometimes what you think is important doesnt really matter.. in the end sometimes what a girl wants is just someone who is good to her, faithful, loves her..

wonderful friday

met qilin in town at 3pm today..hmm so what did we do..

shopped around in wisma and taka for a while
went over to cine to buy tics for Coach Carter


eating tako pachi, on our way to cine

went swensons for...high tea dessert!!


lovely fries


yum yum banana split


diao look

watched Coach Carter. An awesome show!! Must watch! Heart warming, touching, inspiring, entertaining.. Hmm shall i spoil it by telling you what it's about? haha..ok maybe if you're planning on catching it then dun read on. the movie is about this ex bballer who took up the task of coaching his ex sch's bball team which had been on a losing streak in the nationals for really long. neighbourhood sch, problematic students, atrocious attitudes. he came up with several extreme rules for them to abide by..n eventually he succeeded. there were several touching parts.. like when how everyone including the teachers, the parents, the students objected..never appreciate his yong xin liang ku.. when one of the athletes's friend got shot n he came looking for the coach.. one stuck with his pregnant gf even though he knows it will cost him his freedom.. a mother pleading the coach to let his son play cos she has already lost a son.. the team finally understood their coach's intentions and studied in the gym just when he was about to leave.. the team losing against a powerful team..at the very last min...

had dinner at la mian xiao long bao! my fav!!


me and dou hua shui


my wu xiang nui rou la mian


me and qilin at my place


edited aftermath

thursday night out - indochine

went to chill out at indochine with sean, terence and lenny just now.. first intention was to go wala wala cos the band on thurs is supposed to be the best, but heaven didnt help us! no parking lots at holland v and we were too impatient to wait! anyway indochine was not too bad too.. lucky sean and lenny finished their papers today, whereas me and terence still have the horrible stats paper next thurs.. GRR.


freaky picture of me and sean. haha shadows cast on us.. we look like demons.


our drinks! terence - tropical beach (left) and mine - pretty in pink (right)

mine tasted unique at first.. but after a while it was kind of tasteless..? maybe cos the ice melted.. a mixture of tea, mango juice, orange juice and some syrup which i forgot the name of already. $7.50.. not exactly that worth it.. unless you have super power taste buds that can discern the different 'tints' of the drink.


the band

3 down 2 more to go...

paper today was okies.. not that easy to score cos it's a history paper after all.. but the questions didnt require much studying.. so 2 more papers to go. next paper on 3rd, next tues. yay 6 days' break! holiday time!! haha temporary break.. :) going out tonight.. yay~~ lalala...

the saddest thing about a funeral..

desperately in need of intensive mugging for my morning paper tmr, but couldnt resist dropping a post. just returned from my grandfather's cremation. the first drama was that when i got there, everyone was alreadying in their white shirts and black/blue slacks and socks standing in front of my grandpa's casket and photo, holding a bunch of flowers and/or incense sticks in their hands.. the shifu was praying. i was hurried to change into that extremely baggy slacks. there were rituals to be done, like walking around the casket and plucking the petals off the flowers. *blurs* i had completely no clue what to do, just followed my cousins ahead of me.

the rituals doesnt make sense. so the soul will really rest in peace? hmm made me think.. rituals are more for the living than for the dead ya.. to make us feel at peace that the death is at peace. i wasnt particularly THAT sad. know what was the saddest part of the funeral? not when i walked past the casket n peered into it n seeing my grandpa's face.. but when i saw my grandma sobbing uncontrollably..at her age.. and my aunts n even uncles crying.. made me want to cry too.. but if i cry, that would be ridiculous. even my mum didnt cry.

after the cremation we were supposed to throw away our socks. great. cos i was the only idiot who didnt bring my shoes along. so i had to walk barefoot onto the road to hail a cab. eeee..

oki mugging time. one morning gone.

tired

tired. 2 down 3 more to go. viet paper was as usual ok today. i was feeling so sleepy and drowsy that i couldnt even be bothered to really check through my essay haha. just couldnt wait to get back to my comfy bedroom. maybe it's the exam stress getting at me too... :(...

why do people take photographs?

i take photos to liu nian ba.. to freeze that particular moment when i was basking in joyous bliss..be it with my friends, my family, or my once-upon-a-time lovers. when i'm sad, or in doubt, or in need of some comfort and reassurance, i can reminisce on them.. when people get hurt in a relationship, they tend to want to wipe out all evidence of memories about that person who hurt them. but i always wonder what is the point.. when you really forget someone, you delete him/her from your heart.. such material abandonment is inessential.. but of course to some, it would help.

i'm a practical person. i move on. the past is what it is, the past.
i'm an emotional person. i cry. though sometimes you can't see.

there was once my ex showed me all his photos with his previous gfs. i was wondering why the hell was he showing me all that, as if i'm interested to know? it'll only make me jealous. but he said it was to help me understand what he has been through all this time, to help me understand him.. made sense too.. to love a person truly, you have to understand that person right?

phone loser

got my sim card back already, but i dont have a phone yet. so peeps dun try contacting me yet! good in a sense.. people who irritates me cant contact me, people who dont want to contact me wont feel obliged to contact me.

a line, a word, a phrase, a sentence...

funny how different people respond to words that other people use. we are all individuals who come from different backgrounds, molded by different environments, shaped by different experiences.. that must explain the differences in sensitivitives of each individual to certain words.. for example if someone says,"Hey you look like shit.", it might not strike any chord in me, i'll just laugh it off and forget abt it. but if this was directed at another friend, she might take it personally and ignore you for the rest of the day.

so sometimes, be careful when you say something.. you never know when you'll offend who.. you never know which words will end up hurting that person.. even if it was meant as a joke, even if to you it was just a harmless attempt at jest, even if it was never your intention to hurt anyone...

god is playing a joke on us...

It's so true.. it's all a joke... an unexpected one.. a fantastical one to a horrible one to another sweet one.. so many things to say, yet so restrained.. my life has been complicated, though only i will be able to truly comprehend what i just said.. all i want is a simple life.. really..

grandfather passed away yesterday.. at the grand age of 90.. i must say he is considered very long lived, considering the fact that he has been smoking all his life, even when i saw him during chinese new year this year. it was sudden. he was hospitalised on thurs, n then before anyone knew it, he was gone the next morning. it is good in a sense.. save him from much suffering, or the thought that his death date is hovering near.. i cant say i'm especially sad, cos after all i was never very close to him.. mum is upset of course.. inevitably.. although she didnt express any of emotions to us.. neither did she shed any tears.. but i guess deep down inside she must be really.. sorrowful? grief stricken? i'm lousy at offering words of consolation.. so.. sigh..

i'm confused once again...

one down, four more to go..

slept at 11.30pm last night after OC to make sure i'll be alive and 100% awake when i wake up this morning! it's feels good when you actually wake up early and dont feel tired. :) first paper, my core paper, life sciences biodiversity.. it was alright. how bad can it be when it's open book? oki very bad actually but this paper was fine. but i'm a tad sad.. lenny, terence n i were talking at the bus stop after the papers.. they were comparing what they got for the tests. n i just came to the realisation that no matter how well i do for this paper, i'll never be able to do well overall, because i did so badly for all my class tests and daily work etc.. exam - 60%, class tests - 40%. i only study when exams come, i totally heck the class tests. you know i dont even dare to check my daily work score cos i know i'll do damn badly? haha..yiming the coward. sigh..ok must remind myself next sem to change this bad habit of mine. it used to work in rj, cos if i didnt remember wrongly, the weightage for exams is 100%. sigh sigh triple sigh...

i didnt really want to blog today cos i've come to realise perhaps i've been writing a tad too much about my life on my blog.. which isnt exactly very good.. hmm.. but anyway i watched the movie CREEP today. a horror movie, but wasnt scary at all?? oki i'm a scardy cat so little things freak me out la.. so.. by normal standards, the show wasn't scary. simple plot, typical screen effects, mediocre acting..

one more day to my first paper.. panick panick..

me and liwern on a photo taking spreee

smileys

act cutee!! kawaii ne!!

falling in love with the feeling of being in love...

sometimes people fall in love, thinking they are in love. but actually they are just in love with the feeling of being in love with each other.

love takes time to develop. for communication between 2 people, to understand each other.. how can you love someone if you dont know that person? isn't that just attraction? isnt love at first sight merely just attraction between two individuals? physical attraction.. cos that's all you see from the surface..

family

i really cannot concentrate.. most people can study best at night when all is peaceful and quiet and there is no one to disturb them.. but i study best in the day, when the sun is shining bright and strong.. so i really really cant concentrate now.. of course there's the distraction of msn..

anyway just thinking about the chat i had with my bro a few days ago. he is studying in australia now.. it was a brief chat, nothing especially emotional also.. but he said some things that kind of hit me.. both mum and dad are working, and they usually come home at 10pm plus.. there is no one at home to look after my sister.. or grandma.. ok my sis is 16, she doesnt really need much taking care after, but it really gets kind of lonely at home when you're all alone, with no one to talk to, or share what happened in the day.. even I feel alone when i'm home alone. bro said i should try to be home more often..

gulity.. true. i'm a selfish soul ya. i insist on staying in hall because.. i want freedom, i have friends here and it's ultra convenient. but being away at home makes me want to be home more often to spend time with my family. to make sure there is someone there for my sis. to talk to my mum. anyway i'm glad i'll be moving home in 3 weeks' time. family is important ya.

boring day...

spent the afternoon studying at the west coast macs with tom and whiston. i realised i'm productive so long as i dont have my lappie with me to log on to the net and chat!! studied from 2-5pm.. and then met joel for dinner, holland village katong laksa. i LOVE katong laksa. lalala :)

tom and whiston studying

act cute tom

west coast park macs

viet: know what it means??

gulity! while the rest of the nus population is blasting their heads off cramming for the upcoming exams, i was out the whole night, thanks to mr qilin. went with him all the way to toa payoh sport complex to watch the finals of..what is it called..some national men bball tournament, divison 1.. between home utd (the police apparently) and some club called eng tat. *shrug* not very familiar with the basketball league. the match was lukewarm at best, since the scores started drawing apart very early in the game. on top of that, i'm was never a very bball person, didnt have enough experience or knowledge to gain much insights of the game. nonetheless it was fun watching guys brawl and battle. lalaa~


the team behind the bars - timeout!


cheerleading segment during half time of the match

that guy received some certificate for being selected to be in the national bball team. impressive huh?? see guy, i'm helping you pulicise!! girls, single guy up for grabs! 1.82m, tanned, sporty..eh for more details contact me.. haha.. oops.. anyway he has big dreams.. gambatte!! i believe you can make it!! with a bit of perserverance and determination... *grins*

we went to cine to watch Guess Who after that match. the plot was nothing special, the typical dad meet son-in-law comedy. it was funny, bound to cough out some laughs from you.. a feel good show..


view from the taka steps..where we ate n waited for the show to start


dabao from yoshinoya..apparently not very appetising cos we couldnt even finish it between the two of us


green tea - 2 for $1.60, bought exclusively from cine cheers

yawns should get to bed soon. the night isn't young. n i still got to study tmr!

a break from being a mugging toad..

today must be the day i studied the most in this entire semester. haha woke up at 10 plus, was determined to make today productive! so i carried my piles of BORING biodiversity notes to the living room, set myself at a comfortable position on the sofa, in front of the tv, n...mind you, i didnt touch the remote control at all, my dad did however.. haha was momentarily distracted by some crappy taiwan variety show.. OK the key word is momentarily. i did managed to study.. albeit i must admit i could have been even more productive if i didnt log on to msn.. but just cant keep my itchy fingers off the net ya.. started chatting.. *gulity* chatting is evil.

just kind of finished with studying viet. i get bored easily,when i come to the last few chapters, i just flip through them... viet is not that a difficult lang to master, but it's those irritating tone marks that get on my nerves! viet words has dots, ~, ^,' etc punctuations on top or below some of the alphabets and i just cant remember them!

anyway just thought of sth in the middle of studying viet..

my next bf must be able to....
attract me physically
interest me intellectually
fulfill me emotionally
afford me financially (haha!)
touch me romantically...

the last factor is very important.. cos i'm a sucker for romance.. hmm..

my mundane day must be boring you out.. but i'm really bored..

love
ok i'm not done yet. people single are constantly complaining about their status ya, wondering when they will meet the ONE. somehow i'm contented with being who i am now.. come to think of it, what is so attractive about having a bf/gf.. of course.. the feeling of being in love with someone who is also in love with you is like the most fantastic feeling in the world! that cloud nine floating in the air feeling, that inexplicable joy and contentment.. of just simply having that individual by your side.. of having someone to snuggle in with on a rainy day, a warm body to hug when you're sad.. suddenly all those depressing love songs no longer make sense.

ok there was once a time when everything aforementioned applied to me. it's over, but it's ok. life doesnt revolves around love. i have friends and my family, my future, my money, my studies to think about.

on the flip side. love can sux big time. the sucky thing about being in love is, it leaves you so damn vulnerable to emotional assaults. i hate that vulernable feeling. i hate feeling weak. it's not working for some of my friends.. you know who you are.. sometimes i dont understand why people still stick together when they are so miserable being tgr. usually they will say "cos i love him/her.." but hey what the hell, what is the point of being tgr if you're crying all the time.. very fun is it.. love isn't enough..takes compatibility as well. takes two people who knows what they want in life to maintain a long term relationship.

sigh if you dont love her, let her go and find someone who appreciates her better. if you do, then dont do things that will make her upset. how can you bear to see her upset if you love her?? i dont understand the things guys do sometimes.. they dont think with their heads.. they think with their.. you know. if he doesnt love you, let him go and find someone who LOVEs you!! be kind to yourself! the world is so big, you're bound to meet someone! ok this is going out to a few of my friends.. hmm doesnt matter whether you know who you are..

random thoughts.

sunset bay

listening to 'one last cry' by david tao.. it's making me sad.. :(

went sunset bay with fabian, qilin, eugene and jt today. a few of their safsa bballer friends joined us later, kelvin, ah boon and humhum (dun ask me, i dont know what kind of name is that..). wanted to suntan but obviously the weather wasnt very kind to us.. it rained quite a lot, and the sun was mostly hiding behind heavy clouds. i supposed i had fun, tanned for a brief period of sunny weather, played around in the sea with tyres.. after that the guys engaged in a marathon of volleyball games, that left me pretty bored, with nothing much to do besides admiring the surroundings. got bored of that and went for a walk.. wanted to get away from the activities.. and just be alone for a while..a guy approached me and wanted to make friends with me. i was pretty fan gan about it at first, extremely adamant to talk to him..

i was like.. "so was it a dare? did your friends dare you to come and ask for my number?"

"eh yes.. but i wanted to know you myself.."

oh well at least he was honest. found out he is 22, from sp, a hongkonger, knows how to speak cantonese, shanghai-nese. interesting enough. he seemed like a nice guy. not too bad looking, however a little too short for my liking.

back from a day out.. the most obvious thing to do now is...study.. but.. i dont know why.. but i just feel so lost.. grr why why why.. like there's something lacking.. something that i cant put my finger on.. i cant seem to concentrate on whatever i'm doing.. i'm not interested to do anything.. i just dont know what i want to do.. this has nothing to do with anyone else.. it's just me myself.. there seemed to be a barrier for me to be happy. i even have to remind myself consciously to be NORMAL so i wont affect the people around me. sian-ness is contagious you know.

i'll be heading home from hall soon.. maybe i should just watch tv, immerse myself in some heart wrenching drama serial..and sleep.. when i wake up tmr morning, everything will be fine..

my day

food i ate today:
breakfast - spring roll + char siew bao
lunch - carrot cake
dinner - 2 pieces of red bean buns


my dinner - pathetic red bean buns

....

i'm hungry. grr.

attend this seminar at international plaza with eugene. it was about business and entrepreneurship. interesting, inspiring and enlightening. reminds me of mlm. it's not that i havent though about it, i have, but i dont know how to do it, or what to do. the speakers were good, dynamic, enthusiastic. oh well i guess that's expected. anyway exams are coming, first things first, the rest will come later. actually it's probably just an exucse not to think. but right now i really need to cleanse my mind, at least a little.

if there's a will, there's a way.

anyway to eugene..wo zhi chi ni!!! i believe you can make it!! :)

loneliness is bitting at me..

i'm afraid of the dark.
i'm afraid of being alone.
i need msn to make me feel connected to the rest of the world, n not in reality, isolated.. a lone figure in the barren land.. emptiness, hollow.. scream and hear echoes. speak and receive silence. cry and realise there arent any shoulders to bear your burdens. shudders, and hug yourself tight. claws, marks on the walls..

just a bunch of words that doesnt make sense..

thanks to joel who has been keeping me company these days. who generously paid for the skirt, n brought me that spark of joy.

sat by the roadside in front of taka, watching the passer bys saunter by, the cars racing, the lights aglow.. are they happy? are we happy? am i happy?

a messed up life. people swaggering in, termination, doors slammed shut, poker faced.. what is left? a lesson learnt? an indestructible memory? or just.. nothingness.. what is gained? what is lost? life eventually returns to equilibrium. what's next? a cycle through and through? no more.. i've had enough.

i've grown up, havent i.. jaded.

paragon in colour

paragon in sepia

joel's fantasy

the lovely skirt i bought from forever 21!! yay!! so happy!!

me eating at yoshinoya, cine

tay yiming took a pic of herself acting cute cos she got too bored reading her notes

disclipine..

i've always been disclipined all my life, which is why i have always been able to do relatively average even though i play a lot.. but that trait of mine doesnt seem very prominant these days.. while others on their hard core exam mode, laboriously studying, i'm more in a holiday mood. went swimming with daniel just now, oh well, more like he swam and i suntanned. nothing exciting, but a nice change from studying in my puny room, staring at those puny black words that doesnt make sense.

i need to be more disclipined. not much time left.

me n jas acting spastic - bored out of our minds!

me and jas - she too excited with the idea of seeing herself on my lappie. haha!

my matric card. i look so ghostly in that pic.

picture of pig which jas is so crazily in love with

Another day...

I can't believe this.. I just logged into my friendster acc and found 10 msgs waiting for me, from different guys whom I totally have no clue of who they are.. Disgusted.. Sigh why are guys like that.. Strangely I don't feel flattered at all.. Sigh.. :(.. i roughly sped read all the msgs, with the help of jas haha, cos she kpo. Some were quite sincere, at least they bothered to write longer msgs, introducing themselves, their occupations etc. Others just..."care to be friends?", "hi i just viewed your profile n wish to be friends with you!" .....................

Today started off ordinarily.. Came back to hall early at 9am cos liwern said she wanted to have breakfast in hall.. unfortunately we were a little slow.. n still missed dinner in the end. Had mifen at the Deck, before going for Chi Biz lect.

After that, I came back to hall with Jas. we tried to converse in viet because we've an upcoming viet oral exam on thurs, but to no success.. cos jas was apparently in a cranky mood. n eventually when we decided to get serious, she fell asleep. haha!

met up with joel in the evening. haha if u guys are wondering why we're seeing each other so often now, it's cos he just got his freedom back.. after 10 months of torturous training, he finally became an officer. everyday 8-5. so we went walking around westmall, window shopping..

then to the library..

to sakae sushi...

then to watch the movie Be Cool. not the most exciting show.. it's..confusing.. a lot of characters involved, backstabbing here and there.. it's...entertaining in a way, at least i didnt fall asleep.. but..it somehow doesnt hold your attention for long.. midway i started feeling a little bored.. cos the movie seemed rather flat, no climax? as joel said.."no spontaneity!". it wasn't THAT bad.. but it wasnt fantastic.

so there goes one whole night without much studying..
*guilty*
2 more weeks to exams..

*if u're wondering again why so many photos has joel in it, that's cos for one, i've been seeing him very often these days.. secondly..he is the one with the camera phone!

The book Joel borrowed at westmall library.. The manchurian candidate.

the book I chose.. hahaha can tell the diff in intellectual level huh haha.. hmm but i didnt borrow this in the end.. not that interesting!

salmon sashimi.. the first dish we had at sakae sushi

tempura bento

itadakimasu!! kai dong le!

joel enjoying his food!

Don't be sad girl!!

ay girl! just talked to you on the phone and you're coming back to hall now. don't be sad! ok that's dumb, of cos you'll be sad.. hmm remember wounds will heal with time.. why cry over a skinny, fair boy who is going to fly all over the place n make u worry like mad for him! you how kawaii ne! will be able to find someone better! :) we girls dont have to depend on guys..

tada~

my new blogskin! credit to mr daniel kwok who was sooo nice to help me to put up my own pic. so some pple like JASMINE SIA said i'm super ego..n i look ghostly..hMM.. but hey if i'm going to put some girl's pic there, i might as well put my own haha.

i finally decided to off msn so i could concentrate on studying. i'm becoming a msn addict. alright shall get back to work.. haix.

black n white pic

moi

hair let down

guys and dates

moi eating mango pudding.. yum yum..