one by one

When things are lining up in queue waiting for you to handle, the only way is to take things one at a time, isnt it? It means prioritising and skipping non-urgent, not important stuff as a whole.

I hate to admit it, and I refuse to admit it but I'm starting to feel the heat. I'm the sort that feels uncomfortable if I know any pebbles are left unturned.

Therefore I need to constantly remind myself to keep things slow and steady, one by one. Haste creates more waste.

I need that, to retain my sanity. And my pride does not allow room for failure.

my dear friend

I meant to say. I did something wrong many years ago. Something that was seemingly innocuous to me but inconsiderate, hence I ended up hurting a close friend of mine a lot and eventually losing her at the beginning of this year.

I admit, I havent tried very hard to win her back, and I'm not sure if i understand why myself. Why havent I tried harder? Why?

It isnt that she isnt important to me. I swear I've always thought of her as one of my bridemaids on my wedding day. She is 'by default'.

We go back a long way.

I remember the time we learnt dancing together. I wasnt interested, i was just curious, and I joined because of her.

I remember the afternoons we spent swimming ands tanning.

More recently, I remember getting drunk and waking up at her place.

These memories count a lot, dont they?

One day one day, please forgive me. I know we'll be good friends again.

I miss the hysterical, emotional, paranoid, uncontented you.

come away with me

"But you can touch everything and be connected to nothing."

I was watching a hk drama at the usual 8pm time slot. The man learns of the devestating in indo and wants to leave everything behind in hk, be a volunteer and help to rebuild the houses. At the same time, he wants to take photos of the reality of life and see the world.

The girl, upon learning his intention, was dismayed. She wants a stable career, a family, and a simple life.

She said she doesnt need to see the world.

He said, come with me and lead a free life. I promise I'll make you happy.

She said, how can you just leave everything behind? Why are you so impractical?

He said, lots of people do that. Why can't you for a moment see from my point of view?

She said, so why can't you see from MY point of view?

Two people who clearly loves each other, but with totally different objectives in life. Who will give in to who? Love indeed does require people to make sacrifices...

they just aint perfect

"i asked you what you thought about your parents..."

"i asked if you felt they were perfect or needed improvement.."

"you said they werent perfect, but they didnt need improvement"

"..it means you're willing to accept people the way they are. nobody is perfect. not even mum and dad. that's okay."

- have a litte faith, mitch albom

My eyes turned blurry when i read this. I was suddenly struck by a wave of emotion.

It was at the moment, I realised I've been blaming my parents all these time. I've been blaming them silently, deep inside, unknowing even to myself.

I blamed them for not pushing me hard enough. I blamed them for not giving me as much as what other parents would have given. I blamed them that despite my perfect grades, I wasnt given the opportunity to do better in life when i could easily have. I blamed them for not giving me advice when i most needed it. I blamed them for not exerting enough control over me, letting my life went haywired for a while.

Sometimes, I blame them for not loving me enough.

Now i understand. they just ain't perfect, and I shouldnt have expected them to be.

Just as when I'm a parent myself, there'll be areas where I'll be lacking in, and my kids might resent me for.

You just got to understand that nobody is perfect.

potassium

They called me an unpolished diamond.

I pretend I do, but I don't really see it.

He told me to:
1. Fine-tune, tone down
2. Work hard
3. Set the bar higher

Noted, but how do I do that? I don't know how to.

I'm a potassium - highly reactive and explosive.

Disgressing:
From Jerry Maguire...
"I pretended that the proposal by the car was real, it might just have been hypothetical, but at least I can do something about it now..."

all things beautiful

My thirst for all things beautiful;
let's celebrate life

A beautiful of classical music by Bach
Admiring a Starry Night by Van Gogh
Watching the green pastures pass me by as we ride a train to Austria
A dog wagging his tail as he greets you at the door
Saddened by a tragic story of a novel
Touched by the eternal sunshine of a spotless mind
Eating muffins with beloved colleagues
Laughter and joy over the most nonsensical jokes
Foie gras that melts in the your mouth
A glass of red wine, or many glasses..that leaves you craving for more
Architectural wonders of Singapore, bright shimmering lights...
Touched by love...

Yes, let's celebrate life.

my poison

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine,
except that on a day without sunshine
you can still get drunk
- Lee Entrekin.

Apple

"My job is to not be easy on people. My job is to make them better.”

“You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.”

3 Apples changed the world;
the Apple that Adam ate
the Apple the fell on Newton
the Apple that Jobs created