underneath the veil...

Sunday, November 15, 2009 // 11:15 PM

oooh checked out the weather in korea and it's already -2 °C over there now.

brrr...

freeze the brains

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 // 12:15 AM

suddenly feel the urge to take a month off, and fly fly fly away. to anywhere will do. to rome where you're literally stepping on hundreds and thousands years of history to cambodia where we once climbed the steep steps of angkor wat (which according to alex, has already eroded by now and is closed off to the public), to vegas where we were staying at golden nugget hotel and playing with the water tunnel, to new york where i was happily eating pinkberry (saw this yogurt place at iluma that appears exactly like pinkberry except for the name, shall go and try it one of these days), to mauritius where there was only the sun the sea the sand and me...

i'm going korea in dec - the land of the frozen. did i mention how much i hated feeling and looking like a dumpling the last time i went to korea, because of all the thick clothing we have to pile on?

but perhaps, just for the sake of a change in environment and lifestyle, it's good to freeze my brains out.

i had a good weekend meeting up with old friends. the pa 7 groupie on friday night, where fengyi handed out her wedding cards to us. also found out that X and her bf have broken up, just when they were about to apply for a flat (this procedure comes before marriage these days). the guy's mum told them they can only get married at 30, otherwise they will get divorced. honestly!? who still believe in such things these days? X is my age, 24.

that wasnt the worst. the guy agreed and did not stood by her. we agreed that she is better off without him. better to end it off now when they're both still young than to wait till she is 30 to realise they're not meant to be.

also met up with the rgs girls on sunday. rachel is going to be a mother and she looks wonderful! done deal, she said. no more partying and late nights, but hey, we all got to move on one day. and looking at the number of people around me tying the knot, it shouldnt be too long before we all move on.

A, B and D

Monday, November 02, 2009 // 11:44 PM

so tired. it's only monday, and i know i should be feeling refreshed. but neh, i'm not.

i feel so sian.

last week was madness. i was so busy i was like a tornado moving from meeting to meeting, trying to resolve one issue after another. i literally had no time to pause and take a breather. on one hand it does feel good to be so pseudo-productive; on the other hand, you just kind of get lost in it all.

i try so hard to juggle A, B and D but these days, it's starting to occur to me that i will be better off abandoning A and just concentrating on B and D.

Monday, October 26, 2009 // 11:42 PM

my sister's keeper has got to be one of the most heartbreaking show i've ever watched in my life.

dont you feel lucky just to be born with 10 intact fingers and toes?

i feel blessed just to be alive.

no money? no career? no car? no looks?

they only matter if you're healthy.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 // 11:43 PM

never knew eating could be such a chore!

Thursday, October 08, 2009 // 10:40 PM

Things are slightly better than before now. i'm starting to realise how everything seems so much lighter now when i have learnt how to let go. nothing is fair in life - that's a fact. someone might get more chocolates than you, but if you really think about it carefully, you probably had more strawberries. frankly, it serves no purpose counting those lost chocolates that you thought were rightfully yours. what's lost is lost - brooding backfires and decreases productivity. look forward. you might have taken a longer route, but you turned out just fine.

in life, you got to lose some, in order to win some - you cant have best of everything. you cant visit the pyramids, and expect to climb mount fuji at the same time. exactly what i've been trying to do, and hence the reason why i'm still stuck at the first few steps for both.

the bf is right. you're who you think you are. if you think you're a superman, then you can fly. if you think you're a chicken, then be prepared to get slaughtered.

it's time to rise up to the occasion.

you're better than that.

got to keep on believing.

a mother's love

Tuesday, October 06, 2009 // 9:58 PM

the fundatmentals for one's existence is purpose.

this must be the reason why there are so many suicides in this world.

human beings cant live without a purpose.

i remember a period in my teenage years when i was constantly in a state of depression, searching for my sense of identity.

i didnt know what i was living for.

i'm in a similar state now, albeit in a different context.

i'm tired of seeing everything, but not doing anything.

i want to know what i am supposed to do and know how i'm supposed to contribute.

come to think of it, the root of the problem lies in the lack of fulfillment, the lack of self-satisfaction and hence resulting in a lack of motivation.

this has to be rectified.

***

on another note, just being random, thought of something my colleague mentioned the other day:

i never knew my husband has the capacity to love a person so much, until we had my son.

i'm curious. is anyone really capable of loving someone so much, whole heartedly, unconditionally?

would i feel the same way, when i become a mother?

would it only happen, when i become a mother?

do all mothers feel the same?

does the love for your children, surpass any other sort of love that exist?

wouldnt it be tragic, if someone live through life, without ever knowing what love truly is.