2 years have passed since my last entry, and boy, how my life has evolved!
The few big deals that have happened:
1. I got married!
They say marriage is one of the biggest events of a woman's life (note I specified woman and not man!). We (me guilty as well), spend hours visioning the most romantic wedding setting in our head. A wedding by the deep blue sea, rose petals sprawled across the white sandy beach, soft music playing at the background, man and woman walk down the aisle with friends and family in celebration of their bliss and happiness...
You get the idea.
Although reality normally screams something different when you consider the financial costs, the weather, the inconvenience etc.
I got a somewhat similar version of it, and I'm really contented. Because finally, when it was, for REAL, my turn to plan a wedding, I realised none of this really mattered. Yes, of cos I didn't want anything too shabby, but extreme extravagance was not necessary. I love him. I want to live the rest of my life with this man. I know this from the deepest of my soul, and no fancy wedding was required to re ascertain this point.
Nothing would have diminished my happiness.
That being said, I only had 2 months to plan my wedding, not exactly the longest of time. :p Most couples would have at least 6 months to a year.
On 28th July 2013, myself, and Glenn Luke Batchelor, the love of my life, joined as one.
Quoting the last line from my vows:
'if i was to leave this world one day, please let it be one day before you, so that i never have to live a single day without you.'
2. Pregnancy
Have you already guessed it? I discovered I was pregnant with the second love of my life on 16 May 2013. Although it wasn't the most conventional sequence for a couple to have a baby, we were both overjoyed. A new life growing in me - what an amazing, un-explainable feeling, so much so that I don't even know how to put it in words.
All I know is, a huge responsibility is coming my way. Actually it had already started. From the moment I knew I'm pregnant, I am already responsible for someone else's life. Whatever I do/say/eat/drink/listen etc, it has direct impact on this thing that is growing inside me. As such, I made it a point to eat healthily. Some people think I'm overly careful, but hey, I do not want to look back and regret that I did not do better for her. She is essentially OUR product, to put it crudely. As with all parents, I only want the best for my child.
As the year progressed, my tummy grew bigger and bigger. Motherhood was looming. I was excited/worried/curious.
How will my life change? Am I up to the task? How will she look like?
Towards the end of the year, WHEN IS she ever coming??
3. My morning glory
And the miracle arrived on 31 Dec 2013. What a cliche, but...it's true! When I first held my baby in my arm, my first thought was 'you mean this thing was inside me all this time?? how did it fit??' haha. Actually no, my first thought was, 'yes! she is finally out!!! mummy is exhausted!'
It took me quite a bit of effort to get her out you see. In fact, gisele claire batchelor didnt want to come out despite my best efforts (pushes), and in the end had to be vacuumed out. Sorry baby, I really tried.
My water bag burst on 30 Dec and so had to be admitted into hospital immediately.Doc Yang was kind enough to delay the induction so that I could give birth on the last day of the year as per my wishes, ok otherwise she would have been borne a day earlier.
She is beautiful. She is perfect. I'm bias. I'm a mother.
When she smiles, she chases all the grey clouds from the sky. There's no gloom, there's only rainbow.
She is my morning glory.
4. Aftermath
The first few weeks were tough. I was hurting, but the pain faded away after 2 weeks. As with any newborn, feeding was done around the clock. She had jaundice on day 5, and had to be hospitalized for 2 nights. Being a new mother and all, I was devastated. It had something to do with all the hormones and emotions after giving birth as well. I was still fat, losing only 5kg after the delivery. My milk hadnt come in, and I was pressuried to give formula which I strongly against. She cried, and it turned the world upside down. There were times when I felt lousy and helpless, but I'm never one that indulge in negative feelings.
All tough times will pass. Things will get better and they did get better. I'm grateful of all the help that was rendered to me, from my well meaning friends, family and the confinement lady during the first month. My hubby was my pillar of support, standing by me, encouraging me all these times.
To mothers to be, one piece of advice is to read more before your delivery. Knowledge is indeed power. Once you know what you're in for, you know what to look out for or to avoid, and what advice to take or disregard.
And so yes, I would like to think that the worst have passed (or has it?). Our little princess has grown exponentially thus far. At 4 months + 6 days, she is around 7kg+ and 64cm. Her daddy likes to call her the 90 percentile girl, meaning she is above the average size for a baby. Nothing to be taken too seriously. As long as she is healthy and happy, that's all that matters.
5, Goodbye toshiba
I have made a decision, to step out of my comfort zone. Am leaving the job of 5 years and going into children's gym business with a partner. To outsiders, going into business is EXCITING. Of course it is, you dont know what you're going to get. But there's always this nagging worry - what if things dont go well? What of failure? Then how?
So i remind myself:
NO PAIN NO GAIN.
NO RISK NO GAIN.
In life, sometimes we have to take that leap of faith.
I mean, what's the worst that can happen..? We will just lose our time and investment, but we'll probably gain an awful lot right?
Optimism has always been my forte. Sieving that peek of light in pitch darkness.
And there's this article i read; taken from the link : http://markmanson.net/10-life-lessons-excel-30s.
6. Don’t Be Afraid of Taking Risks, You Can Still Change
“While by age 30 most feel they should have their career dialed in, it is never too late to reset. The individuals that I have seen with the biggest regrets during this decade are those that stay in something that they know is not right. It is such an easy decade to have the days turn to weeks to years, only to wake up at 40 with a mid-life crisis for not taking action on a problem they were aware of 10 years prior but failed to act.” (Richard, 41)
“Biggest regrets I have are almost exclusively things I did *not* do.” (Sam, 47)
Many readers commented on how society tells us that by 30 we should have things “figured out” — our career situation, our dating/marriage situation, our financial situation and so on. But this isn’t true. And, in fact, dozens and dozens of readers implored to not let these social expectations of “being an adult” deter you from taking some major risks and starting over. As someone on my Facebook page responded: “All adults are winging it.”
“I am about to turn 41 and would tell my 30 year old self that you do not have conform you life to an ideal that you do not believe in. Live your life, don’t let it live you. Don’t be afraid of tearing it all down if you have to, you have the power to build it all back up again.” (Lisa, 41)
Multiple readers related making major career changes in their 30s and being better off for doing so. One left a lucrative job as a military engineer to become a teacher. Twenty years later, he called it one of the best decisions of his life. When I asked my mom this question, her answer was, “I wish I had been willing to think outside the box a bit more. Your dad and I kind of figured we had to do thing A, thing B, thing C, but looking back I realize we didn’t have to at all; we were very narrow in our thinking and our lifestyles and I kind of regret that.”
“Less fear. Less fear. Less fear. I am about to turn 50 next year, and I am just getting that lesson. Fear was such a detrimental driving force in my life at 30. It impacted my marriage, my career, my self-image in a fiercely negative manner. I was guilty of: Assuming conversations that others might be having about me. Thinking that I might fail. Wondering what the outcome might be. If I could do it again, I would have risked more.” (Aida, 49)
Less fear, more courage.
And closing off, this is why I have the time to be writing this post today. I'm serving my notice period and will be embarking on the next chapter of my life come June.
Wish me luck!