filling the shoes

it didnt come as a surprise. afterall, the hints were aplenty and i was certainly wasnt thick enough to miss them. nonetheless, when the truth is finally revealed, it still took a while to let my thoughts settle down.

the question reverberating in my mind: am i capable enough to handle this?

i realised, i dont like the responsibility.

i also do not have the answer to my question.

but i believe, if you're left to drown in the ocean, you'll learn how to swim. you have to swim. you have no choice.

so i can only promise myself to be more hardworking and to do my best. i will make mistakes, but i'll learn from them. i may not know everything, but i have people who will support me.

ooo well.

which is why i said, 25 is a tricky age. i've no excuses to act dumb anymore, yet i do not have enough experience to be wise.

what went wrong? why have you turned out this way?

an empty soul
a bruised heart
the bottomless pit of loneliness
the feeling that life simply holds no meaning...

we try desperately, frantically, pathetically to fill this gaping hole, but it just doesnt seem to close...

havent we all been through that at some point in life?

i remembered feeling like a lost sheep in the masses of human beings when i was in uni, wondering when this feeling will ever go away.

but we all live through it, dont we?

wise words will fall on deaf ears now, but i'm sure you'll come to realise that, all that have been said, is because

we care. she cares.

actually, i think you already know.

so just please, for your own sake, stop tormenting yourself.

i posted this on this blog 4 yrs ago, when i was 21.

***

the rest are some of my favourites from www.postsecret.blogspot.com;

to being true to yourself...

to love and lost love...

to pleasant surprises...

malaysia

back from a 11 day biz trip in penang and kl! am glad to be back.

spent the first 5 days in penang. food was good, at first. after 5 continuous meals consisting of asam laksa, hokkien mee, oyster, chay kway teow and chenol, i figured i've got enough of hawker food. i've just about tasted everything that the penang food guide i picked from the airport recommended. my fav was the hokkien mee though, yum yum.

but i can never live in penang. there's just not enough activities to do!

was then in kl for the remaining 6 days, and that was when the boredom starting sinking in. i've had enough of the long distances and never ending stream of jams. malaysian drivers are aggressive, but there seemed to be a common understanding so much so that no one gets really frustrated when another person cuts your lane. you just simply accept it as the way things work.

people have warned that malaysians are more crafty and cunning, because this is how they're brought up. the political situation in the country induced people to be act this way. you've to be street smart in order to survive, it's part of the natural instinct to live.

whereas we singaporeans may be kiasu, kiasi, and love to complain, we're also very obedient, play by the books and direct.

so i've been warned - be wary. and i'm still trying to learn, because i really dont like to twist and turn.

Bangkok

on the ferry along chao phraya river

wat pho, reclining buddha

drop a coin and make a wish

grand palace

watching muay thai

khaosan road

military police with shields just right behind us

catching a glimpse of the red shirts just in the next street

jim thompson house - my second trip here yet i still dont see what's so amazing about this man or remember anything about him

the hotel we stayed at. room - good, location - excellent, food - so-so, service good, pool - bad, too small

just right outside our hotel

home sweet home