loneliness is bitting at me..

i'm afraid of the dark.
i'm afraid of being alone.
i need msn to make me feel connected to the rest of the world, n not in reality, isolated.. a lone figure in the barren land.. emptiness, hollow.. scream and hear echoes. speak and receive silence. cry and realise there arent any shoulders to bear your burdens. shudders, and hug yourself tight. claws, marks on the walls..

just a bunch of words that doesnt make sense..

thanks to joel who has been keeping me company these days. who generously paid for the skirt, n brought me that spark of joy.

sat by the roadside in front of taka, watching the passer bys saunter by, the cars racing, the lights aglow.. are they happy? are we happy? am i happy?

a messed up life. people swaggering in, termination, doors slammed shut, poker faced.. what is left? a lesson learnt? an indestructible memory? or just.. nothingness.. what is gained? what is lost? life eventually returns to equilibrium. what's next? a cycle through and through? no more.. i've had enough.

i've grown up, havent i.. jaded.