so the boy flies away
and bringing my heart along....
till the day we meet again
90 days to happiness!

i love you!

weekend fatigue

this weekend has been rather packed with work, leaving me slightly drained, with a combination of aching bones and fatigued eyes. my poor poor eyes..they're giving me problems these days, turning red for god knows what reason, always feeling swollen and tired..how i envy those with perfect vision!

was forunate enough to witness the chinese new yr light up ceremony at chinatown. had up close and personal experience with the PM! managed to take some pics, from an exclusive point of view. unforunately i think i didnt adjust the settings on my camera properly, so the pics didnt turn out very well. disappointed.... saw the fireworkers and firecrackers! loveeeely!


chinatown was packeeed....


the best pic of the fireworks i have. it was exploding right above me! the aftermath wasnt that fun though, when the ashes started raining down on us.





why is it that some people seem to know what they want right from the start, while others take years to realise... feeling a tad directionless again, feeling lousy... it's not that terrible is it? life is about exploring new grounds...each step i take might be wrong, but at least from it i learn something about myself..

haiya, ok i'm gonna sleep. dont wanna think. that's the problem, i always dont wanna think.

realised in the past hour, i've used a number of beauty products. loreal cleanser/make up remover, fasio point make up remover, toner, bathe....loreal hydrafresh moisturiser, eye cream, body shop body lotion, eye drops for my blood shot eyes..

it has been a long day..i'm tired. have you ever began the weekend wishing the end would come soon? this is abnormal; normally people wish for weekdays to fly by faster. but i've got such a packed weekend ahead that i kind of wish i was just free to laze around.

yawns

illusions

illusions. what are illusions? magic is an illusion. it isnt what it is but it is what our mind construe it to be. people are illusions. is what you see always what you think he is? a man rejecting a woman, hurling hurtful words, without a care for how she would feel. as she weeped away, who saw a tear that was dangerously hanging at the corner of his eye? there is a certain sort of love in this world - giving it up. he who is cocky and everyone hates him cos he seems to 'has-it-all'..or does he? i've learnt that arrogance is often the most common option to conceal deeply buried insecurities. he, the notorious big bully in school. Back home, he quivers under his mother's relentless beatings. she dates men old enough to be her father. a few months later, we see her starring in the latest blockbuster.

this whole world is about illusions.

PHOTO-log

boredom is my only motivation...decided to post my photos taken on friday afternoon at vivo.


have you learn about the newly opened pet safari at vivo?


hamsterly love



"give me a home!"


dead to the world


casper's lookalike, i miss that boy!



dog grooming





murky water, extraordinarily quiet day at vivo gallery


the other side


advertisement for my bag

other photos taken by other photogs to share:


the efforts of many photogs and a model produced a brilliant photo!!


the fierce boys


tiger craze, how crude!

the meet up

the turnout for pa7 gathering tonight was good. only 3 people were missing: aiai who is still in melbourne, liang guo and caihui who seemed to have disappeared from the surface of this earth. i dont even see them around in school! it felt all warm and cozy in the heart seeing everyone as usual, i get that feeling every time we meet up. it's actually pretty amazing that we are still able to stay this close 7 months after the expedition. normally groups like orientation groups disintegrate very soon and everyone just starts to drift apart from one another, except for a few small cliques here and there. credits go to the few who are always organising the outings, keeping all of us still in contact with one another..

the atmosphere for the outing was a little more forlorn than usual. i cant pinpoint the reason, but somehow it felt as if there was a layer of grey gloom overshadowing us all. fengyi didnt looked like herself. she looked tired n haggard. what is wrong?? i asked alex and xj how pa8 went, and i received mixed answers: "there were both fun and un-fun parts." true..this is true for all expeditions..but if anyone was to ask me the same question about pa7, i would answer with enthusiasm, and recall only the happy moments.

maybe i'm just being over sensitive.

facing the impending graduation from uni, both me and xj barely have any concrete plans about our future. the older girls who are already working starting giving us advice. umm..got my brain churning... indeed, there are many paths ahead of us to choose from. the question boils down to "what you want to do?" and not "what can you do?".. at least you got to answer the former before you come to the latter. what lies ahead? what lies ahead.... one year later, what would i have become?

spent quite a bit today..ashamed to say they're on rather frivolous stuff again..eyeliner, sponges, lipstick, stockings...a pouch for dearie's ipod nano...dearie's ipod nano which i agreed to sponsor half for...manz...should start watching my spending. trying to save up for the trip to europe in may. i cant wait! there is just sooo much i want to see...

it's about saying goodbye(s)...

just came back from the airport after sending terence off. as tired and sleepy as i'm feeling now, having slept only 2 hrs before painfully waking myself up at 3.45am, surprisingly i'm finding difficulty trying to fall back into dreamland. off my partner embarks on the journey miles and miles away to the other side of the globe, where his night becomes my day. everyone was all smiles and laughter watching him wave at us through the glass panels, and walking away to begin another chapter of his life. no tears nor sorrow, just sincere wishes from the bottom of our hearts. nonetheless as i left the airport, my heart felt extraordinarily heavy...there goes my pillar for the past 2 years. a wave of sadness took over...

did i mention how much i hate departures?

the boy and his dad at delifrance//the boy and his friends: on the way to the departure gate


me, him and ck: one last hug before you go

next one through the gate over to the other side would be my dearest. who will be the one accompanying me home after he leaves? one by one they go, and poor tay yiming is left behind in lion city to fend for herself. i almost wish i'm the one leaving.

oh well..i shall quit whining. there are still many things to look forward to in the months to come. okay so it's probably just school...but maybe cos it's my last sem, i'm starting to appreciate something as mundane as going to school.

enough of sentimental talk. cant stand myself sometimes. haha.

a korean feast

had dinner at this korean resturant called ju shin jung or something like that on wed, with dearie, his mum and his aunt joyce. restaurant is at east coast park, next to bk. the food was alright..i was never a big fan of korean food.

lots and lots of MEAT


ultra compact napkins..first they look like small little tablets, add water to it and ta-da! they expand upwards and become...NAPKINS! amazing..


heart-to-heart//a string of watermelony hearts!


my dearest

to my dearest partner who is flying off in 5.5 hours time..you'll be missed so very much! take care over there.... :)

let's bitch

feeling a little weary now, which is strange, because i've hardly been indulging in any physical activities recently, unless you consider climbing stairs in school and walking to and fro from my home to the bus stop one.. speaking of which, i was real pissed off this morning because i actually dragged myself out of bed at 7am, left my place at 7.45am, only to catch 963 at 8.30am. freaking hell!! waited a whole 45 mins for a not-so-crowded bus that i could squeeze up onto. the woes of travelling at peak hour in the morning... reminds me again why i absolutely abhor doing office hours. reached school at 9am, missed half of the first lecture.

after which, i spent some hours in ck's room watching sex and the city on internet. "we're not stupid; we just dont have to use our brains," this quote stuck in my head. it was referring to an episode where men only date models. another one "have sex like a man"..haha..can women ever do that? get involved physically and then walk away after that as if nothing had happened...

went to pei dearie later in the afternoon. we didnt do much did we? but as usual we enjoyed each other's company. :) dearie's visa to holland was approved yesterday, and he will be leaving on the 31st jan tentatively. having mixed feelings about this. on one hand, i'm really happy for you, cos i know you'll be going there to experience a whole new culture, environment..make new friends, have loads and loads of fun....on the other hand..i'm gonna miss you. :( i'm afraid of loneliness, afraid that when i need comfort or support, you wont be there to keep me going.. sigh but haiya, i know i'll survive. independence day is approaching! 2 more weeks..and then 3 months of absence...

i'll feeling sleepy.

my week

havent been blogging the entire week! so what on earth have i been busy with..first week of school went smoothly without much excitement to boast about. i can hardly recall where all the time went to... taking this chance to blog before the next week begins again.

thought i'll do elmo a favour, and helped nussu pru do publicity on thursfor their vbash to be held at st james the coming sat. thought it was rather dumb at first, sitting in Peugeot cars, drove around school, and the pru guys did advertising through loudheaders. stopped at central, the girls (including me) dressed in black dresses (apparently the theme for the party is elegance) and heels (a pain to walk in) got off, walked around holding a 'V' sign, and handed out flyers. manz.. but surprisingly it turned out to be pretty ok. just the kind of job i usually do for modelling: walk around, smile and look pretty. the other girls were really nice too and very appreciative of my help. and i got a free tic for the party..hah! who wants to go??

went to walas with terence and his friend, guowei on thurs. we had an enjoyable time! i was pleasantly surprised to bump into some of the B4 eusoff gang there - the two zhenyuans, jingpei and the A2 girls. it has been a while since i last really had a serious conversation with any of them, so it felt really great catching up.patrick: remember to keep an eye on my bf in holland.. :p take care dudes.. hang around with fred and his bunch of crazy friends. they are funny and witty, real fun to hang out with, though at times i feel that i act out of my character. "advertising is about lying," or so anthony said. isnt it tiring to be pretentious all the time? or maybe pretense has become so much a part of you that you no longer call it pretense.

me and my dear partner//me and guowei, the doc to be..


me and jp//patrick, zhenyuan and me

worked at st james on friday, trying to sell the club membership. i think i make a terrible salesperson, or maybe i just dont care enough to put in more effort. i mean it's like i would get any incentives, except the satisfaction that i've done my job, and done it well. and secondly it's one of the dumbest thing to try selling anything in a noisy club. i couldnt even hear myself speak! the music was blaring loud. excuses excuses..haha..the bottomline is: i'm just plain lazy.
me and evan spent an awful amount of time slacking away... i got to really explore st james for the first time. it's happening manz! the crowds were crazy, equivalent to zouk on a wed or worse. there is even a ktv lounge lookalike, but a lot classier than those you can find along tanjong pagar. my fav is dragonfly, the only room that has performances like dances and music

me and felicia in our johnnie walker cum st james membership promoter uniforms.

did a shoot this morning at sentosa once again. was experimenting with new looks. i actually did a centre parting instead of a side parting, but no one noticed!! except tommy..haha..alright successful attempt. i tried the smoky/darkish approach on the eyes and used a shade closer to black for my lipstick.. i think i might have overdid it a little cos the pics that tommy sent me saw me looking DEMONISH! grrr...so much for the experimenting...never mind shall wait for the rest of the photos to come....

went back to dearie's place after that and we spent the afternoon lazing around, watching zoolander, a show about brainless models which he insist i should watch, cos he saw some resemblance between me and them. what theeeee............the show was silly, albeit entertaining. i was amazed to find out ben stiller actually acted, directed, produced and did the screenplay as well. how can one do sooo many things at one time???

first day of school

the routine begins all over again, as today marked the first day of the semester. the setting of my alarm at 7am only to have me waking up at 7am (yay!), and shutting it off, going back to sleep again. missed the first lect of the sem. the rest of the day progressed well. comestics and perfumes..a particular topic which is guaranteed to interest me..though the first lect only talked abt the history of perfumes, which was not so interesting. the next lect was understanding the universe, astronomy related. i like...constellations, planets, moons, galaxies, supernovae.....

back to the life of a normal student. going to school, and going home after school, trying to squeeze onto the extreeemeelyyy congested 963. i've forgotten how nice it is, just to be leading an ordinary, student's life, and not dwelling so much on the complications and politics of the world.

simplicity...i just want simplicity for now...

high on champagne and wine

was out with the life science people last night. it was a rather last minute decision cos lenny only frantically announced that she needed some 'air' at..9 plus odd? and it took almost an hour for us to decide where we should head out to chill. almost fainted with exasperation..whilst we also have to convince mr ck to join us instead of rotting at home which he so wanted to. quoting lenny, "3 is no good, the middle one will die." hahaha wonder where that came from! so after much persuasion..yay the vip finally agreed!

the party only started at around 11.30pm. we chilled and bitched at alleybar, getting high on white wine first followed by champagne, except for ck, who had a FRUIT PUNCH. hahah ok he claimed he had to drive...therefore forgiven...yes forgiven, afterall who else would send us back?

the photowhoring begins...

my lesbian partner: i've got good taste! :p


the spastic boys

amongst us:
1 happily attached..guess who?? haha..
1 who just got attached: you have my blessings!
1 who just broke up: you're better off like that..it's not nice to leave anything behind, especially when you dont even know where it's heading..
1 who is on the verge of a serious break up: dont give up easily, if you think there's still hope. try, and if it fails, at least you can say that you've tried...

btw the previous post was inspired from the taiwanese drama i was watching..the devil's beside you? er mo zai sheng bian...starring yang chen ling. the 2 episodes got me weeping buckets man haha..sentimental...! there is notthhhinnngggg wrrronng with me, may i emphasize, thanks to those who expressed their concern.

oceans apart, day after day..

when a couple is going to be tore apart, be it by distance or other factors, like when one party is going abroad to study, or migrating..they have to make a decision..whether to continue holding on to the love, or giving it up.. perhaps one can deem it as selfish to ask the other party to wait for you.. how much sacrifices one has to make to hold on to something as intangible as a lover miles away..you cant touch, you cant feel...who is going to be there when you're down or depressed? who is going to keep you company during lonely nights?

yeah..so you might think it's selfish to ask your partner to wait for you. perhaps it's a much wiser..and selfless decision to just let him go..to grant him the total freedom to do whatever he likes..to have fun without any pangs of guilt, to let him grab hold of whatever happiness that might wriggle its way to his heart...

how heroic, how noble.

but sometimes while you think you're doing the right thing for both of you..you forget to ask what the other party wants. perhaps all she really wants is to hear you say,"wait for me..i'll come back to you one day."

i used to wonder how anyone can like a person for years. you mean years have passed and you havent met anyone who can replace him in your heart? you still love him just as much even though you barely see or talk to him? amazing. but i do believe now..i believe that love can go a long, long way...oceans apart, years apart...as long as you're sure...

where to go?

zouked last night with sarah and manda. sorry girls! i was trouble, eh? i got my punishment..spent today recuperating at home, trying to get rid of the pukish feeling in my stomach.

me and the girls at vivoctiy last fri..think zhao qi is back at cambridge already..and teresa back in med sch, whereas me and sarah are still enjoying the last few days of our hols.


my 2nd punishment: bruises and some abrasion on the knee

he said i'm trying to protect myself too much. there seemed to be some truth in that. i'm so afraid of failure that i dont have the guts to push myself. i've built a pigeon hole for myself and hide inside, hoping for some survior who would come along, take notice of me and drag me out. but i never thought about having the courage to step out of the hole myself, or at least what i'm doing isnt enough. too laid back he said, the lack of drive is the root of the problem. how many times have i given up?

upgrading, bringing up the value, act it to be it, sacrifices...honestly it was all a little too much for me to handle. so many questions but no answers, so many doubts, so much uncertainty, so..directionless...just how on earth do i begin on something i cant see the end to?

get a grip, girl.

my results disappointed my parents. cant say i wasnt affected at all, but hey, i understand the logic, you reap what you sow. obviously with the amount of effort i've put in this sem, i deserve those grades. sigh but i didnt mean to let them down. i never thought that studying was for anyone else other than myself. they are MY grades, for MY future. but for the first time today, it came across to me that pershaps before i decide to flunk my exams, i should have given a thought about how they would feel when they see my grades. alrighty, gotta work harder this sem! whether or not i decide to venture into any areas that require my life sci degree in future, i think i owe it to my responsibility as a student to get some decent results. i CAN study, i know i can..

was watching ah wang today. i've made it a routine to watch ah wang on channel 55 every afternoon while munching my lunch, before heading out, or yan zhi shui fen if i wake up earlier. haha..wonder how i'm going to keep up with all these waking up in the late mornings when sch starts. anyway as i was saying, was watching ah wang today, and something that xuan xuan aka little wife said stuck. jian jian dan dan de sheng huo ye shi neng gou heng xin fu de!

my birthday treat

dearie brought me to equinox at swiss hotel on my birthday. thank you so much dearest for the lovely dinnerr...i love ya! :)


bread for starters


our food: scallops for appetitiser, my baked cod and dearie's..what was it again? grilled beef? the food was delicious!


happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!



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the view from the top..that's boat quay!


esplanade


private dining..nice eh??


my new guess bag!


complimentary photo from the equinox team