awful

I'm supposed to be really healthy, even my mum said among the 3 of us (my bro and my sis), i was borned the healthiest, the longest and the heaviest. I was really chubby as a baby..she said she ate a lot of pu ping and milk when she had me..

Sigh but starting to doubt what she said because I keep getting sick these days. Had lips like sausages on Mon and Tues and I had to keep drinking water every few minutes. That means frequet trips to the toilet as well. My body is burning inside.. I had fever just now.. HAIZ. HELP. I feel awful.

cloudy

I look out of the window and saw the cloudy sky, that's why that's the title for this post. My maid is leaving today, can't say that I'm sad, even though she has been working for us for the past few years. I'm a little teeny weeny sad, but because partings are always meant to be depressing.

It's gotta be another Day. Giving tuition later, then going to the gym, and then helping my mum with her work. That sounds real boring. Hopefully there is some kind of program after that.

I'm soo broke.

Tired

I'm surrounded by so many sick people that I think I'm going to become sick myself.. Feeling kind of tired now, had reason to be though, exercised for approximately 2 hours just now. I was reading cleo and they mentioned this product which can de-cellulite your buttocks, thighs and stomach, places where cellulite tend to be at their most obvious. Cool..I think I should get one of those. Wonder how these people come up with such products, maybe someday I can invent one too..

It has been a dreadfully long time since I went clubbing. Kind of miss it.. The music, dancing, drinking, letting go..no inhibitions, free of worries, at least for that moment..

I borrowed this book called "A Woman's Guide to Savvy Investing". I was 'wowed' by it. There are actually so many complications and tactics to buying stocks, bonds and insurance. Is there a school whereby they teach people how to invest? I think there should be.. It's a skill. An asset. I was just bored..and suddenly felt the urge to learn about the REAL world. The MONEY world.

I guess I'm growing up.

future

How will I be like 4 years later? What will I be doing? I have so many questions about my future.. I guess I shouldn't be alone, loads of people, especially those around my age should have their thoughts hovering around similar grounds. With regard to my future, my mind is filled with skepticism.. I know it's dumb, because life is so unpredictable. You think this road is straight and will continue smoothly till the end but most often it deviates to some muddy path ridden with dirt, red ants and annoying mosquitoes. It looks pessimistic but hey, you really never know...

I don't really want to work next time.. I don't want my life to be consumed by work. The Viscous Cycle (of poverty). Work long and hard, struggle to make ends meet, have to think twice before buying stuff… WO BU YAO! I want to enjoy the luxuries of life. I want to travel. I sound so materialistic. Yeah I realize, I’ve become like that recently. But on the other hand I don’t think I would want to be tai tai…I want to be part of the working society as well.. I’m so Contradictory.

Thinkie thinky think

An uneventful day. It's so boring that I don't know whether I should even begin to start typing this, but I'm feeling bored now..okay I'm ALWAYS bored.

Gave tuition in the afternoon, walked around west mall for an hour or so and was tempted by the ongoing sales. Couldn't resist buying another pair of slippers, AGAIN. i have so many zillions slippers, all the same kind and around the same colours scheme also. Most people probably won't know that..you know how is it that sometimes even when you buy new stuff, you just keep wearing your old ones? Could be because it no longer looks so attractive once you're in possession of it as compared to when it's on display, or maybe you realise it's not comfortable, it's the wrong colour, doesn't match with any of your clothes.. I don't know whether anyone else has the same problem as me.. Most girls should have that experience though.

I don't see a point in dressing nice in Singapore. No one appreciates it. I read in a book everyone in LA has looks comparable to movie stars. Nice bods, excellant tan, and they dress well.. Wonder how true that is. But hey in Singapore people just throw a pair of bers and T-shirt and poof! Off the streets we go. Good and bad. I am too bored these days, took to browsing ebay for Dior, LV and other branded goods. Have this THING for branded stuff now. My friend said it's all part of GROWING UP. But eh..by observation, not many of my friends are like that..

I passed!

So happy! I'm finally a legalised driver. Oh well but then I won't have much chance to drive anyway, cos both me and my brother would be fighting over the use of my dad's car. Lala but still..at least something is finally right for me now..

Drizzling outside now. Dark angry clouds looming over us.. I love this weather.

The sun, the sand and the sea

Spent a lazy day at the sunset bay with a few of my friends. It was nice and sunny..we laid on the sand suntanning while munching twisties and drinking peach tea. The sun was literally above us and it's a miracle I didn't get sunburnt. Oh well but I did applied a lot of sunblock..it's one thing to get tanned, another to get peeling skin. We swam too..and bascially that was all we did. The sea was sparkling and shimmering under the hot sun, as if there were rows of diamonds floating on it.. A simple enough scene, easy for you to capture..yet it felt so good just looking at it.. Exudes tranquility, serenity..peacefulness. Just by glancing at it, it feels as though all your troubles are non existant. Insignificant. That life is beautiful, why fret? What is there for you to fret over?

Suddenly questioned myself why I haven't done this earlier.. We really should go to the beach more often. Must remind myself to go there next time even when I start studying..

Btw thanks for your encouragement, add me on your msn gnimiyy@hotmail.com if you happen to read this. :)

Guardian angel on leave

I really don't want to write about how depressed I am again.. It seems to be the only emotion I have these days.. i think my guardian angel is on leave..and has been on leave for a long long time...

I think only my closest friends would have noticed a trend, that I'm almost ALWAYS attached. The break between my relationships are short. What's wrong with me? I think I am just a poor lonely soul in need of company at all times.

Manz, I'm feeling sorry for myself..please don't take what I'm saying seriously.

I often wonder how 2 people who is in love can be so miserable together..is it me who gives too little, or is it you who want too much..are we just too stubborn, a head on collision..

Another day

Thought of something.. What if you are not holding an apple? What if it's an orange, durian or grape? Today, I was suddenly lightning struck by a sense of inferiority, feeling as if my entire soul was smeared with imperfections.. Hmm actually not, more like.. There are so so many many people who has achieved so much more than me.. I hate that feeling. I supposed sometimes one should be content with an apple, at least it's not a lychee, or grape or smelly durian.. I have an..apple..

Yesterday was a nice day. A simple night out with a good friend, had dinner at crystal jade, cruised around town, went to THAT CD SHOP at pac plaza. I didn't even know it existed until yesterday.. Where have I been! Anyway it's a really cool CD shop, somewhat like HMV with a sleeker look, much much much less crowded. But the core music they play there is..Jazz, chill out, new age..etc..music I don't really listen to that often..

Caught movie.."Confessions of Drama teenage.." I cant even remember the full title. Cheap humour. Too..high school material for me..not the sort that most guys would enjoy I think.. The girls maybe. Overheard some girls exclaiming "it was so sweet!" in the toilet.. Yeayea undoubtably sweet at certain parts..but hey..it was still pretty cliche.

Oh that reminds me of another reason why I'm feeling so okay today. Just got my tuition pay and went on a shopping spree. Feeling guilty because I spent so much.. I think I can forget about saving up for some trip or something.. Money is meant to be spent right.. Why wait.. Wait till when..

Must be boring reading my blog today..well at least it's normal, not sad..

Read this article that said men are born to be happy. No one taught us to be sad, our natural mental being is to be happy.. How true is that.. *shrugz*