like a frog peering out from a well
his sky is what he sees
and that was my sentiment exactly

sigh.

i'm feeling pampered these days. :)

"the break-up"

watched the movie "the break up" on sunday. it's my second time watching it. i always thought i liked the movie because it is so realistic. i totally could relate to how jennifer ainston/brooke felt when she was trying to explain to gary the problem and she got so frustrated because he totally couldn't get it.

"i want you to WANT to do the dishes!"

"why would i WANT to do the dishes?!"

the first time i watched it, i was on brooke's side that gary was in the wrong. he was insensitive and childish and taking her for granted. but watching it with dearie again, made me see things from the guy's perspective. brooke may not technically have done anything wrong but she made the mistake of not actually telling him what went wrong.


Brooke: I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.

Gary: Why didn't you just say that to me?

Brooke: I tried. I've tried.

Gary: Never like that, you might have said some things that meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader...

Brooke: It wouldn't matter you are who you are. Just leave me alone ok? Right now, just shut my door.


there's the problem with us, girls. sometimes we like to make too many assumptions. sometimes we just assume that the root of the problem is sooo plain obvious and the guy should be able to read our minds and see what's wrong immediately. we forget the fact that the mind of the male anatomy is wired differently from us. and then we come up with our little self-concocted mind games and schemes to MAKE the guy see the point. sometimes they are successful, sometimes they are not. and when they are not, we point the finger at them and scream," you dont understand me at all!" perhaps sometimes, we should just throw the facts at them. save time, save energy, save potential heartaches and tears.

sometimes, love just ain't enough.

my valentine

my bouquet of roses and baby j bear!

dinner at casa roma..mushrooms yum yum..

finished pasta and red wine

haagen daz ice cream!

finishing the evening with a walk at the esplanade

thank you my dearest.

'life can be so simple, isnt it?'
yeah if only life is always this simple.

我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

i dont want to have to convince you that this is right.

revelations

i know i should take it the positive way, to spur myself to prove my worth, but i really cant help it...

i feel dejected.

i hate being judged.

梁静茹 - 勇气

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里你的真心

如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你

'the less trodden path is always the most difficult one, isnt it?'

comprehension

i finally understand. as we grow older, as we reach different stages of our lives, we become wiser, and we see things differently. in the past, i was willful and stubborn. i always wanted things my way. i thought that as long as i am not doing something 'wrong', i should be allowed to do it, despite how it would make other people feel. but now i realised that things don't always work this way. i realised that sometimes persistence can lead to someone else's unhappiness and discomfort. and if that someone is precious and important enough to you, you would not risk anything in the world to jeopardise the relationship. because losing this precious thing, is far more scarier than losing your pride...

you would handle it with care, like you're treading on a piece of very thin ice, afraid that a wrong step would crack this piece of ice and cause you to lose it all irrevocably.

year of rat

this chinese new year has been rather boring, as like all the years that preceded. the usual once-a-year gathering with my relatives, except this year's reunion dinner and chu yi's bai nianing was at my place, so i could hide in my room occasionally when i feel bored. the usual polite greetings and occasional small talks were exchanged. the usual ang baos were received. well well, just about everything was the same..almost.

zouk on chu xi: yong and hong, the twins' bday

was at butter on friday night and it was the first time i was so sober in a club for a while. and as dearie said, "everyone on the dance floor looks so silly when you're sober." couldnt agree more, which explains why people are so obsessed with the idea of getting intoxicated. at the end of the night, i dont know whether i should feel empowered by the fact that i could walk straight; or vexed that i was not able to enter another world where i could get lost in...

nonetheless, i am glad.

春到河畔 with bf

bf won mr pooh and mr monkey for me from the games booth!

the old supreme court

watched the notebook on sat night. i love that show! some particular memorable quotes from it.

Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'

Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

Young Allie: So what?

Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.

Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.

Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?




yawns. and i'm sleepy now. what is going to happen in a few months? in a year? in 5 yrs? in 10 yrs? who knows..but as long as i'm happy now....

bliss.

i wish for this feeling to last forever.

the past

today, my past caught up with me.

when i first heard such accusations made upon myself, my immediate reaction was anger - red, burning flames that got me speechless. why can't people just mind their own business? why do they have so much to say about my life?? but the answer is obvious isnt it. all of us love to gossip, boys and girls alike. and i have given people much to gossip about me. the annoying thing is truth often gets distorted as words passed on from ear to ear. they are misinterpreted, exaggerated and reinvented. which also explains why we have the game 'broken telephone' (or is it called broken telephone line?)...and also how the movie 'atonement' came about, Briony misunderstanding the actions of cecilia and robbie, resulting in a mistake that changed lives forever...

ok my story is nowhere so dramatic, but you get the idea.

on deeper contemplation, i know i have no one to blame but myself. i was no angel. whatever that was said, there was probably some degree of truth in them. i could even be what they have accused me of, but being slightly self-delusional, i had always look upon such comments as if i am a third party. i have failed to acknowledge the fact that what they're describing is me, that i AM what they've described me to be. since i have never acknowledged it, obviously when i hear such comment passed about myself, my natural reaction is denial. and therefore again, i have always been able to shrug everything away without much difficulty.

anyway all the happenings felt so long ago. i would like to think that i am different now...

i was crazy, because life for me was a sky shrouded with uncertainty and grey clouds. i was walking in a mist, but i'm now trying very hard to clear the clouds and find my path of light. mind you, i'm still trying....

sorry to put you through all that.

floating

There are so many options in life that sometimes we spend so much time considering them, we forget that the only way to succeed is to focus.

that's me. met up with clifford yesterday and he totally hit the nail on the head about me and my current situation.

i'm floating. i need to anchor myself down and stop thinking that every ocean i go to i can find something better.

in the end i just end up lost again, not knowing exactly what i want.

i once believed that if i set my mind on a goal, i will go all out to pursue it simplemindedly. i was once like that. am i still like that? it has been so long since i have an unwavering agenda that i've almost forgotten how hunger and desire to succeed should feel like.

to live life passionately...

SIGH!

the person y0u're with should make you want to become a better person.