same same but different

it has been so long since i last blogged. lazy, tired, and lack of inspiration to pen down thoughts.

was looking through my facebook photos, particularly albums of days spent in the states after graduation. washington, nyc, universal studios, disneyworld... makes me wonder..GOSH, has it only been 3 years?? i visited those places in Aug 2007, but it feels so damn long ago. i looked so YOUNG then. oh alright, i probably dont look that different, but i looked so youthful, glowing and happy. it's like...same same but different.

shucks, what i would give to go back to that time...

and knowing that i cant never relive those days, just makes this whole situation more tragic.

surely, i will still have happy days ahead, but it wont be in the same manner. it wont be the same kind of carefree, i-dont-have-to-give-a-damn-about-anything-in-the-world kind of happiness...

fly fly fly me away

3-8 may : kinabalu - brunei - bintulu - miri - kl - sg
13-16 may: hcmc

filling the shoes

it didnt come as a surprise. afterall, the hints were aplenty and i was certainly wasnt thick enough to miss them. nonetheless, when the truth is finally revealed, it still took a while to let my thoughts settle down.

the question reverberating in my mind: am i capable enough to handle this?

i realised, i dont like the responsibility.

i also do not have the answer to my question.

but i believe, if you're left to drown in the ocean, you'll learn how to swim. you have to swim. you have no choice.

so i can only promise myself to be more hardworking and to do my best. i will make mistakes, but i'll learn from them. i may not know everything, but i have people who will support me.

ooo well.

which is why i said, 25 is a tricky age. i've no excuses to act dumb anymore, yet i do not have enough experience to be wise.

what went wrong? why have you turned out this way?

an empty soul
a bruised heart
the bottomless pit of loneliness
the feeling that life simply holds no meaning...

we try desperately, frantically, pathetically to fill this gaping hole, but it just doesnt seem to close...

havent we all been through that at some point in life?

i remembered feeling like a lost sheep in the masses of human beings when i was in uni, wondering when this feeling will ever go away.

but we all live through it, dont we?

wise words will fall on deaf ears now, but i'm sure you'll come to realise that, all that have been said, is because

we care. she cares.

actually, i think you already know.

so just please, for your own sake, stop tormenting yourself.

i posted this on this blog 4 yrs ago, when i was 21.

***

the rest are some of my favourites from www.postsecret.blogspot.com;

to being true to yourself...

to love and lost love...

to pleasant surprises...

malaysia

back from a 11 day biz trip in penang and kl! am glad to be back.

spent the first 5 days in penang. food was good, at first. after 5 continuous meals consisting of asam laksa, hokkien mee, oyster, chay kway teow and chenol, i figured i've got enough of hawker food. i've just about tasted everything that the penang food guide i picked from the airport recommended. my fav was the hokkien mee though, yum yum.

but i can never live in penang. there's just not enough activities to do!

was then in kl for the remaining 6 days, and that was when the boredom starting sinking in. i've had enough of the long distances and never ending stream of jams. malaysian drivers are aggressive, but there seemed to be a common understanding so much so that no one gets really frustrated when another person cuts your lane. you just simply accept it as the way things work.

people have warned that malaysians are more crafty and cunning, because this is how they're brought up. the political situation in the country induced people to be act this way. you've to be street smart in order to survive, it's part of the natural instinct to live.

whereas we singaporeans may be kiasu, kiasi, and love to complain, we're also very obedient, play by the books and direct.

so i've been warned - be wary. and i'm still trying to learn, because i really dont like to twist and turn.

Bangkok

on the ferry along chao phraya river

wat pho, reclining buddha

drop a coin and make a wish

grand palace

watching muay thai

khaosan road

military police with shields just right behind us

catching a glimpse of the red shirts just in the next street

jim thompson house - my second trip here yet i still dont see what's so amazing about this man or remember anything about him

the hotel we stayed at. room - good, location - excellent, food - so-so, service good, pool - bad, too small

just right outside our hotel

home sweet home

bangkok

back from a short trip in bangkok and had piles of work waiting for me, fortunately i managed to clear most of the backlog today.

bangkok was good. to our relief (or disappointment, can't decide which is it), we didnt meet with much inconvenience from the protests. not much excitement there, though we did managed to get a glimpse of the red shirts and military at khao san area.

it was SCORCHING hot.

we got conned watching the tiger show. so people who are reading this, please do not be as dumb dumb as us. if you want to watch, dont go to patphong. also, always go with a local if possible, otherwise, give it a miss. you wont be missing out on much.

it's the usual story. the guy who brought us there told us we only have to pay 200 baht. we went, there were only 4 other customers in the pub, 2 angmoh men and 2 jap ladies. we thought that since there were big angmohs around, they wont dare to do anything. after 45 mins, the 2 angmohs left, so we followed. unfortunately we were a bit slow, the angmohs got away, but we were told we had to pay 2600 baht!!! faints! bf argued with the guy and the guy hit bf in the stomach (not hard enough to cause any damage, only enough to be offensive). in the end we managed to negotiated down to 600 baht and left. the 2 jap girls suffered the same fate as us. they saw us leaving and decided to leave, and managed to get off with 600 baht also.

so, that's the story.

moving on...

to be continued.

musing in a sat afternoon

it's raining.

from the last that i remembered, it hasnt rained like this for quite a while.

just returned from a business trip from KL last night. it was scorching desert hot. what a nice change! for once, i'm contented staying at home.

but then again, i'm off to bangkok tomorrow. :p despite the 'bloody' protests and all, we're going ahead with the trip.

this business trip wasnt as packed as the previous ones, but just as intensive. i've got so much to learn, absorb and digest, and so she said: you've to get up to speed.

you can't be simple minded anymore - the corporate world is not as simple as you think.

apr and may are going to be as hectic, with a few trips being planned ahead already.
johor - 3 apr
penang - 7-11 apr
kl - 14-17 apr
kuching/sibu/sarawak/brunei - mid may

umm..looking forward to more challenges.

CNY in Hong Kong

our hotel room - royal plaza hotel. pretty good, big room, nice buffet breakfast. we got the club room so there was even free high tea and cocktails in the afternoon. about 15-20 mins walk to mongkok mtr. not that near but still acceptable.

sis and me

chinese new year parade at tsim sha shui

the whole world has got to be here

watching the parade wasnt part of the plan actually. was trapped because the roads were closed off and i didnt know how to get to the mtr on other side of the road. the parade lasted for 2 hrs and more.

repulse bay

brother and his hongkonger gf, rita

it'll be nice to stay in one of those apartments behind us.

ocean park

my fav animal

lazy panda that enjoys eat-all-you-can buffet all day long

ocean park was maddeningly crowded when we went on cny chu er. the queues were extremely long, people were pushing and shoving each other, some tried to cut the line. not trying to be discriminate but seemed like most of them were from china....

macau

macau was sooo crowded too, people people everywhere.

black sand beach (direct translation) - apparently the sand is really (naturally) black, i thought it was just polluted.

grand lisboa casino

spent this year's cny in hong kong with family. it was colder than expected; temperatures hovering between 10 to 15 degrees.

hong kong hong kong..i have a love-hate relationship with hk. love it for cold but not freezing cold weather; everything just feels so much more romantic when it's cold. hate it cos it's so dry, making my lips puffy. love the fact that the city never sleeps; you can go out at 12am and there're still so many people around, so you'll never feel lonely. hate it for the same reason cos it can be sooo freaking crowded at times and you just cant walk straight without bumping into someone.

nevertheless...

KNOCK KNOCK.

it's back to reality tomorrow.

bits and pieces

clubbing with my dearest colleagues at butter

zachary - may's 1 month old son - he has a LOT of hair!

cycling at east coast park

who wants to go bangkok in march?

and japan in apr?

it's possible to love two people at the same time.

too much twilight is giving me weird ideas.

where before there was just one thing i could not live without, now there were two. there was no division - my love was not split between them now, it wasnt like that. it was more like my heart had grown, swollen up to twice its size in that moment. all the extra space, already filled.

1/4 of a century old

i wish i was one yr old all over again...

thank you darling, for a wonderful night