happiness and contentment

do happiness and contentment go in pairs?

can you be happy, but discontented?
can you be unhappy, but contented?

are they mutually exclusive?

hmm.

seems not. i think i'm happy now, but discontented. i want more. but this discontentment doesnt make me sad. it just spurs me to work harder. in fact i look forward to the future, because i look forward to fulfilling this discontentment in future.

am i talking in circles?

old

was on site at mos just now for the singapore poly event, to do some data collection. the queue was CRAZY. it went all the way to the clarke quay taxi stand and turned around for a bit. the last time i saw such a queue was perhaps..2 years ago? when the club first opened? haha.

it was an underaged party, so the the queue comprised of mainly young kids, in their 17s, 18s and 19s.

as i glanced at these youngsters, i couldnt help but felt old. i was standing there in my jeans and t shirt, and wondering whether i stood out. i probably didnt look that old; my dress code definitely blended in, but i wonder if old was written across my face. could anyone notice?

there's so much to this world that they arent aware of....

honestly, age is determined by the state of one's mind.

which is worse: looking old, or feeling old?

professional ape zombie killer

i am officially addicted to this online RPG game called Cabal. been playing it the entire weekend, fighting crabs, turtles, ape zombies, lug gueens and mummies! this is baaaad... never understood how people can sit in front of their PCs all day long killing monsters until today...

this is bf's character, devilj, as a blader

devil j in a guild fight

me, using devil j to fight against a moscutter queen!

it's pretty fun actually, haha.

tomorrow is moondaaay again. boo hoo.

dont we all, at some point in life, wish we dont have to work?

reliving memories

i probably mentioned this numerous times over the past two years on my blog. whenever i feel the slightest bit stressed out or vexed with the fast pace of urban life, i will tend to look back at the days i spent in cambodia as a source of peace.

was just chatting with alex, my then project leader who is now in melbourne with another one of our group members. it has been almost two years; it seems so long ago, yet i can remember every detail as if it just happened. this sudden nostalgia urged me to browse through the photos qiming took during the trip in june 06.

how are you doing now?

taking left turns

hitting life's reset button. was out at suntec today with boyfriend. we were at coffee bean where i read the sunday times, and came across this article under reflect, in the life style section, called 'hitting life's reset button'. was mildly touched by the article cos in certain aspects, i could relate to it, albeit my situation was on a much smaller scale.

so what if they're not safe and sane? take them anyway!

the author was at a friend's memorial..
"..you ask yourself: should your life end suddenly tomorrow, would i have been happy with the way i lived?

the answer turns on two key things, first knowing what it is exactly that makes you happy, and secondly, having the guts to do it, for life has a strange way of whittling down options.

My own life is a case in point. i'm single but lucky to be in love, n my work as a journalist n as an editor is something which i really enjoy.

yet i could just as easily have been a discontented father in a loveless marriage, doing something which would have paid me much more but which would have been much less satisfying.

the difference between the two scenarios still takes my breath away cos it essentially boils down to two left turns i made in life. they werent easy decisions at all but i dont regret making them.

the first choice i made was to simply follow my heart about what i wanted to do. but even that took some figuring out."

i have already hit the reset button once. guess i'm sort of reading this article at the right time, cos sometimes i still question myself whether i have made the right decision. for a long long time i've been trying to figure out, i think i still am...but at least i know now that if one day this is not where i wanna be, i could hit the button once again to steer it to the right course.

do you have the guts to click 'reset'?

marketing

a lot of people think marketing is something extremely DUH. it's about things which are so obvious that you dont have to study to know how to do it. but in actual fact, it's an art. it's not something that you can study for and just keep getting better and better in it. i'm beginning to think that being a good marketer, has nothing to do with intelligence also. perhaps more to do with experience, your observation skills and really just how perceptive you are. most importantly, one must have foresight. a good marketer must be able to visualise. a good marketer must be able to predict that if he does A and B, C and D will happen. you must be fast to spot trends, fast to react with an effective solution. you must know what other people want.

i know what i want. but is what i want what everyone wants? how the hell would you ever ever know whether you're right or not? except until you actually implement it and see results...and by then, sometimes it's too late...

weekend

the week has been pretty hectic. my mind is cluttered with too many pieces of random information. too many odds are running against me....but i'm telling myself i can pull it through.

and sigh. i do not think there's anything wrong with me. but every time the subject is brought up, this flashes across my mind: why does nothing i do ever seem right to her? is the problem what is wrong with me? or is it what is wrong with her? or should i blame it on our 8 characters? perhaps they clash. perhaps some people just simply cannot get along with each other. perhaps some people are just meant to HATE some people.

i have become significantly less stubborn after leaving my school days behind and learning the way of life. however one belief that i persist in would be to never have to tailor make myself to suit another, ie. to be fake.

yes, so perhaps i cant tame the volcano, but i suppose i can try not to fan the flames.

spent the afternoon at cafe del mar with boyfriend. sun was freaking hot today and i've a nice tan now. i feel 3/4 refreshed.

i hope i have the energy to keep up with this crazy world

and i really dont wanna lose you