sinking

just came back from a freaking long day of lessons. 10am to 6pm.. with a break in the afternoon for lunch. tired, not physically but mentally. bombarded with a whole bunch of new, irrational looking biostatistic formulas and abstract descriptions on how RNA polymerases transcribes..

i've been feeling lost these days.. not difficult to tell if you've been following my entries.. but now i seem to be sinking even deeper.. for reasons that elude even myself. perhaps it's a natural emotion following such incident. perhaps it's just me, myself and my life. perhaps it's just all inside this mind of a clueless girl, walking around aimlessly, following the crowd, going about with the activities of everyday life.. unsure who she is, unsure of what she wants, unsure of who are those that matters most to her, unsure of what that matters most to her, unsure of who her real friends are...

i'm depressed. but ya, even at this state, i understand that it is a fleeting moment. it'll pass.

During lect last night, we watched a movie - Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind..it talks about a couple who broke up and were so deeply hurt that they had the moments they spent together erased from their memories. after the treatment, none of them can remember each other. however when they met again, they fell in love all over again. romantic isnt it?

if the option of erasing your memories is available..would you do it?

sometimes i think i just wanna be left alone. other times, i wish i have so many friends around me that i forget that i'm depressed.