clubbing last night was not bad. except we saw her. she was there. i swear i could feel her every glare piercing through my back. tried as i did to feel at ease, my body language must have betrayed me. i squirmed uncomfortably on my seat, hoping to deceive my true feelings. upon hearing tears were shed for our pressure, a flash of pain stabbed at my heart.

she hates us. she must. he said she has to know sooner or later. maybe it's better this way, then she will hate him and forget him with lesser difficulty.

i feel for her. because i know exactly how a girl in her position would feel. i have been through it. the clenching of the heart. the unstoppable tap. the lump in throat. the grief in soul. the tasteless food. all of a sudden, life becomes mundance, meaningless..

ok..sorry i'm not in the position to mourn..i'm not the victim here..both ways..

his friend gave me some disturbing advice last night. "dont be too involved with him. he is still at the stage whereby he still wants to play." "but he said he is serious about me.." "he said that the previous time too.."

i didnt tell him what his friend said. because i believe him. i trust him. the whole world can doubt us.. but at least we have to believe in each other..