responsibilities

Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you want it to. You want this you want that, but you end up having noting. I hate myself sometiems because I'm so irresponsible. I know something is obviously wrong but yet I still chose to do it. Cos I'm one who has this mentality that if I like something, I'll do it. If I don't want to do something, there is no way you can make it do it. And one thing I hate most if doing things for the sake of doing things. So when I'm torn between responsibility and doing what I sincerely desire, I chose the latter, which is...not right...

Then after that, I have to pay for my actions. Sometimes I tihnk i'm a bit illogical, why do it when I know what I'm getting myself today? That's me, that's life...

I talked to him yesterday. For the 2nd time since he left only. It was..great to see him online..we talked about things that are happening in each other's life. He told me about meeting this professor who offered to drive 45 mins out of his campus to play squash with him. Apparently there are no squash courts in his uni. He talked about working, being busy...come to think of it, it's not much actually... I told him about dnd, pageant, hall, people, and how I'm eating so much and getting fatter haha. It was like 2 friends chatting and catching up...which is..well enough. What more can I expect?

Another long day....