He is gone

He left. A part of me feels missing. Desperately trying to concentrate on my school work but apparently failing. Doesn't happen very often, I've always been someone who is able to put my personal affairs aside and focus on what is important.

The past month has almost been like a dream. A beautiful dream, almost like a fairy tale...Feelings were so strong... I can't even put it down in words. Have you ever love someone so much that the mere thought of him bring tears into your eyes? For the fear of losing him, never being able to feel him again or say "I love you".. No regrets, the happiness might have been short lived, but nonetheless, I choose short lived happiness over nothing, just as he did.

The day would come, he said he has anticipated it. The day of tears. The day for tears. At least for me it was. He didn't cry, I guess he is used to partings. Partings. "Be glad it once happened, not sad that it's over," - Tuesdays with Morrie. I'm trying to keep up with that optimistic outlook of life.

I didn't cry when I sent him off. I didn't cry when I see him walk further and further away...into the world I don't belong. I didn't cry when I left the air port, not even when memories come flooding back. I didn't cry...would he have known anyway...

His philosophy in life is to march ahead and never look back. Memories are meant for reminiscing a few minutes just before one goes to sleep. That's it, no point dwelling over the past. The past is over, the future waits. Forget the past.

That's my philosophy too, except I want the past to stay...stay with me...stay with him... and that one yr later when we meet again, we can start from where we move off.. But a lot of things can happen in a year... How love last that long? In reality?