i'm feeling increasingly frustrated.

i want to run, but there seems to be iron balls tied to my legs.

it's either i ignore, or i sort it out.

feeling officially broke now, after a weekend that burnt a huge hole in my pocket.

bought a LV wallet for mum, for mother's day of course. thankfully bro had a share in it, so the cost was cushioned.

bought a pair of tiff & co. cuff links for bf - a belated vday pressie actually. appropriate too, considering he will be starting work officially in june and would definitely have a use for them.

bought new specsy for myself - a pair that is considerably more presentable than my previous pair, and could be wore out without me having to feel too embarrassed.

on another note, i had some returns too.

bf's mum bought me a burberry blue label bag from japan. apparently blue label can only be found in japan. a very nice baggie, and will no doubt be my default bag from now on.

been stocking up on my corporate wear, buying dresses, skirts, trousers and blouses from boutique stores. i'm starting to repel clothes from zara and mango; finding them a tad too 'mass'. even coach, which is supposed to be a slightly upper-tier brand is getting too common on the streets.

watched star trek and xmen. loved star trek, xmen was okay.

transformers and harry potter - coming soon! yipee.

had a good long weekend. it's back to worrrrk tmr.

some pics from company function:

it's may already.

this has been a crazy week.

it's work, work and more work; late nights everyday.

i need the weekend to come faster!

in life, there are always choices to be made.

you can either stick to the convention, or be brave enough to follow untrodden paths.

there's no wrong or right.

you just simply enjoy different sceneries.

butter fun

one of my colleagues is leaving next week and we had a farewell party for her last friday at overeasy first followed by drinks at butter. had loads of fun! :)

all of us at overeasy - i'm surprised how much i liked the place and how popular it already is despite being so new. i love the ambience of the place, and the setting - beside the sea, and the floor-to-ceiling glass panels. it also attracts the right mix of people.. reminds me a little of bala, without its shadiness and pretentiousness...yet.

doreen, audrey, ice and mee

anne, audrey, doreen, may and me

tim and me

it was nice to hang out with everyone in a different setting other than the usual boring office. everyone was more relaxed and all out to have a good time.

to days of more fun and laughter ahead.

it's funny how friendships are formed.

there are some people whom you naturally clique with effortlessly. you don't have to struggle to find a common interest, words just come and you can talk to him/her about anything under the sun.

there are some people whom, no matter how hard you try, you just cannot feel comfortable around them. you feel awkward, you have nothing to say, and you just cant wait to get out of their company.

i knew you've made the right choice for yourself, the moment i saw your eyes lit up when you spoke about it.

i'm happy for you. i've always known this is the path for you, and you'll excel in it.

my only fear is that it would pull us apart, into two different worlds...and you would drift further and further away from me...

but i must have faith, if not in myself, then in you..in us..

bali - part 2

lotus lotus everywhere

no, i wasnt poking my mouth, it's just the angle

that's me, high up in the sky

the older ones on banana boat

kuta beach

..all good things have to come to an end and it was time to bid farewell..

Bali - part 1

mum & dad

all of us - from left - rita (bro's gf), bro, dad, mum, aunt, uncle, me & sis

blue oh blue blue sea


view from the hotel room - swimming pool hidden behind the trees

view from the hotel room - blue blue sea at low tide

women sewing batik wear

sis getting her shorts drawn - it was done in less than a minute, and cost 10,000 rp (S$1.30)

the finished artwork

view from the mountain top - overlooking another volcano

the lake on the far right of the volcano provides water for all in bali, therefore no water sports are permitted there

believed to be the sacred water

me in sarong, can't enter the temple in shorts, sort of like the same as in thailand

women in bali balance the things they carry on their heads, for religious purposes

to be continued...

went shopping today and bought some clothes.
happys.
shopping always makes me happy.
how typically female i am.

just came back from a 4 day trip in bali with the family.
a pretty enjoyable trip.
despite i found the tour guide very irritating initially, because of the way he pronounced his Rrrrrrs and the way he always looks straight ahead at the traffic instead of looking back at us when talking to us in the coach.

bali is nice. life is simple. life is primitive. it's nice to live without the pc for a few days.

it's the kind of place that makes me feel i can just live on a beach forever, and just tan and eat and swim everyday.

but..it's nowhere near cambodia. haha, the love of my life, and i think it'll always be.

ramblings

i suddenly thought abt the feeling
i wonder how it's like to feel that way again...

fav songs at the moment:
tattoo by jordin sparks
halo by beyonce

i'm enjoying work better.
work is piling everyday. more and more given each day.
but it's ok, the more the merrier.
last week was especially tiring; worked till 11plus for 3 nights in a row.
my eyes nearly popped out. staring at figures all day and all night can be very draining.
i fell asleep seconds after my head touched the pillow.

but it's all good.
i dont mind the piles of work, the late nights or the fatigue.

life feels a little empty these days, so it's nice to have something to fill it up for a change, and less to think.

i like my colleagues, most of them at least.
i've learnt not to judge one by their appearances. they are deceiving. like many things in life, you often got to delve deeper to really understand people. everyone has unwritten stories.

ramblings ramblings.

caught confessions of a shopaholic with bf yesterday. i enjoy chick flicks, and many of them make up some of my fav movies. i'm also a big fan of sophie kinsella's books. but i was surprised to find myself quite disappointed with the movie! maybe cos it's so drastically different from the original storyline. the movie was admittedly verry funny at some points, but painfully predictable. becky was adorable and loveable, yet she made me feel slightly annoyed with her irresponsible and shallow behaviour.

one doesnt get away with everything just because you're a pretty red head with luck. the original story honestly had so more substance to it.

in comparison, i thought sex and the city and devil wears prada were much better. ooooh well.

walking in circles

if only i have studied something else instead of life sciences.
if only i have had someone to seek advice from.
if only i have strived to achieve more in school.
if only i have given more thought to the future before entering my first job.
if only i knew what i wanted in life earlier.

if only if only...

life could have been so different.

there's so much i think i could have achieved, but hadnt.

but who could have accelerated the know-what-u-want-in-life process?

even now, i'm not sure whether i completely know the answer.

i've been walking around in circles, until i finally found a chance to walk out of it, only to wonder if i'm heading in the correct direction.

i keep thinking to myself: there must be more than that in it for me.

i'm not contented with just this.

i want more.

"you've got to start somewhere."

"your brain is like an underutlilised sponge; there's still so much more capacity to absorb and learn."

yes, there's so much for me to learn; i'm feeling excited.

but then again, on a more cynical note, isnt that always the case at the beginning?

tomorrow is the start of a brand new relationship.

i trust that this time, i have made a wiser choice.

also, i got to knock my head and constantly remind myself not to repeat mistakes which i have committed before.

i wanna go shopping!

but he is sleeping.

what a pig.

zzz.

16 vs 24

i was bored, so i went back in time to look at my forgotten past.

www.geocities.com/yimingggg - i typed this into the browser, wondering if it's still in existence.

and it is!

the last time i updated it was in 2002, when i was 17. i'm amazed with myself. i could actually create an entire website on myself, with midis and photos using dreamweaver. No doubt the design is extremely simple and of no award winning material, but it is still my work that tells the story of my youth.

reading the comments in the guestbook touched me, even though the last one was written 4 yrs ago.

i'm made to recall the similarities and the differences between the 16 yr old tay me and the 24 yr old me.

i'm steadier now. happier too - i would like to believe so although it remains to be questionable sometimes. i know who i am and where i'm heading. whereas at 16, i was a girl trying to find my way out of the mist, lost and confused.

however, at 24, i dont think i would have the courage to bare out my heart and soul and tell the whole world my life story.

music

another 2 songs i like at the moment:

安静了by S.H.E

and

下雨天 by Lara from 南拳媽媽.

i'm sooo cheeenaaa.

bring it all back

i know it's extremely old school, but i'm suddenly thinking of this song:

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you

Hold on to what you try to be
Your individuality
When the world is on your shoulders
Just smile and let it go

If people try to put you down
Just walk on by
don't turn around
You only have to answer to yourself

Don't you know it's true what they say
That life, it ain't easy
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop trying

Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you

Try not to worry 'bout a thing
Enjoy the good times life can bring
Keep it all inside you
Gotta let the feeling show

Imagination is the key
Cos you are you're own destiny
You never should be lonely
When time is on your side

Don't you know it's true what they say
Things are sent to try you
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'

sigh, and so it's this song that's keeping me company, while i hold my head high with forced optimism, trying to disregard the bleakness i'm feeling inside..

cos i just need to keep telling myself...MY TIME'S COMING AROUND!

there's so much i wish to say.

a bagful of woes...

but it's easier to act like it all didnt really matter.