Accepting myself

Written 9 Aug, en route Agra - Jaipur

I spent today trying to figure myself out, despite having been told the opposite - there was no need to do so.

I guessed I didnt really believe it. How can you not know yourself?

The question is subconsciously repeated in my mind: who am I?

Let's talk about simple materialistic wants.

Luxurious 5 star hotels or rough it out? I enjoy Europe where everything is posh and polished, yet I claim Cambodia is my favourite country in the world. Now that I'm in india, i'm embracing the colours and culture here.

Dreamer or realist? I dream an awful lot, but yet when it comes down to facing cold hard truth, I'm the first one to acknowledge.

Introvert or extrovert? Bubbly at times, yet with close friends or strangers alike, there're times when i despise small talk and start withdrawing into my own private space...

An identity crisis. It shouldnt be happening now. It happens to 18 year olds but not to a 26 working adult.

Perhaps i should just come to terms with the fact that I'm neither here nor there. And that itself defines me as a person. i do not have to be black or white. I do not have to choose a side. I can be both, and both can be me.

Perhaps what i really need is not to find out who i am, but accepting me as who i am.