report card

i received my score card today. although i havent received my results, i roughly have an idea how i'm going to fare already...considering there are only about 2 months left to go.

sigh, if only i've gotten it earlier. it would have given me a better idea of what i was supposed to achieve. i would have put in that extra bit of effort, i think.

but then again, these responsibilities didnt fall into place until much later.

i'm generally an efficient person, but not very accurate.

i'm a big picture person, but i mess up my details.

i can actually be very lazy too, unless i'm super passionate about something. though occasionally, i tend to experience short bursts of enthusiasm that surprise even myself.


today, i find myself asking this: am i a good worker?

and my answer is: only when i'm passionable about something lor....duh.

excuses excuses...

right, my aim is to do my work well, even when it's something i'm not interested in.

me and the 2 interns in my office, on their last day of work

midnight movies

gold class + midnight movie = zzzzz, regardless of how much action-packed the movie is.

watched transformers and i fell asleep 1 hr into the movie. i woke up periodically after that to see the ex-cia agent, the battle at the pyramids and megan fox telling sam she loves him.

and so, i swore i wont fall asleep again last night, when we caught harry potter.

i fared slightly better this time. i think i only went to lala-land 1hr45min after the show started, meaning i kind of missed all the fighting scenes.

didnt particularly like this harry potter. found it too dark. the first and last time i read the book should be 4 yrs ago when it first came out. i admit i cant remember too much from it, but there was one scene from that book that left a strong impression on me - at the funeral, harry potter broke up with ginny because he didnt want to bring harm to her. AIYO. dont understand why they can leave such an emo scene out from the movie! and there were simply too many non-essential snogging scenes. this isnt 90210!

anyway there are many more details i couldnt remember, like why snape was the half blood prince. maybe i'll go buy it and re-read it again!

lala. blading today was good. we should do it more often! :)

tying the knot

i have had a good weekend.

met up with the nus people whom i went cambodia with. it felt sooo good reminiscing about the times we spent in cambodia - staying in tents and bathing under the stars, eating happy pizza and all the girls getting freaked out when liangguo seemed a little zonked out, how freaky the rooms we were staying at were and the scratching sound qiming heard in the middle of the night, me, debbie and fengyi lying on the deck chairs at this very cosy and quiet pub by the beach, looking up into the night sky and just talking...

ummm....

at the blink of an eye, 3 yrs have passed.

everyone is working now. we have teachers, architects, doctors, pharmacists...

the most shocking news was: qiming and fengyi are getting married (not to each other)!!

the last time i met them, both were still unattached.

now, when you put the two of them together, all they talk about is where to do their wedding shots, get wedding gowns, make diamond rings and wedding bands, what kind of taps and tiles to get for their bathroom floors, loans to take to repay apartments they've purchased...

shucks, i felt young.

it must be a sign. everyone around me is getting married. alan got married last sat. jas lau in aug. sean in oct. fengyi in nov.

but no no, it's not time yet. yes, married/to-be-married people will tell me: there's never a best time. there will always be something that will hold you back, be it career wise, financially, mentally unprepared...

but i guess when it's meant to happen, it'll just happen, and you wont have to think.

goodness, fengyi only met her fiance less than 2 yrs ago, and they're getting married now. some will say it's too soon, but when you hear her talk about him, and the things he has done for her, you know she has chosen right. and i'm happy for her. Envious in fact. they make you believe that: love really can be so simple...

unfortunately my concept of love has never been simple, disillusioned by the numerous relationships i have been in and out. it was one of those times i wish i could erase my past, and start off on a blank sheet.

but it's ok. i'm not so bad now.

have you ever been in situations where you're forced to do something you hate to do, yet you know would be beneficial to you?

like drinking that bitter tasting solution that supposedly would cure all ailments
like pulling out a rotting tooth
like running that full 20 min even though you're exhausted

sigh.

endure.

you know it would be beneficial.

i'm soooo tired.

get it back

was busy preparing the flyer for the upcoming nus matric fair today.

i remembered when i was a freshie, and was choosing a notebook to buy, i didnt even consider the specs. i was like,"oh this looks pretty nice," and i bought it.

and of course, another reason why i chose the notebook was cos jas bought the same one too. haha.

5 yrs later, i cant even switch it on now.

i wonder if students these days are as ignorant as i was then.

probably not. i've come to realise i'm not the typical customer of IT products and gadgets.

oh how times have changed. 5 yrs ago, $2.5k was considered the norm for a notebook. now, you can easily get a decent notebook for $1.2k or less.

yes, times have changed, for i realised i no longer know how to think like a student.

on another note, i'm feeling incompetent.

what's my excuse?

inexperience? laziness? lack of passion? lack of interest? lack of involvement?

or just to be extremely crude and honest: a lack of flair!

sigh. hopefully it's not the last conclusion.

true enough, i havent been put to the test.

let's just hope i'll live up to expectations when the test finally comes.

lately, i've been feeling restless. i feel a lack of fulfillment in life.

got to go out and get it all back!

give me a little time to sulk

at my own incompetence

with no intention to be pessimistic, it seems that asia is falling apart.

protests in xinjiang, china
north korea firing missiles
vietnam flooding
bombings in philippines
myanmar imprisoning auug san suu kyi
not to mention h1n1 everywhere...

aiyo.

在树上唱歌
by 郭静

想要光着脚丫在树上唱歌
你说的每个笑话 我都笑了
是你变幽默 还是我变快乐

好久不见你说 我大不相同
偷偷告诉你 我的心去整型了
不想对每件事情都 那么严格
弄得全世界好像 只剩挫折
爱一朵花不猜 它能开多久

放宽了心情 把什么都变美了
好多事物全被缩小了
心里不想放的 就去了 算了
让太阳把脸庞给晒得红彤彤