7th months of bliss

and time flies. weren't we just celebrating our 6th month anniversary just a while ago? nevertheless, happy 7th month anniversary to my dearest!

the results of photowhoring with my phone:

loving yourself

when i was younger, i always hear those elder telling us the younger ones that we have to zi ai, which in other words means loving yourself, treasuring yourself... at that time, my first thoughts were: isn't it obvious? everyone loves themselves. this is why people shop, go for manis and pedis, watch movies, go for holidays... i love me that's why i pamper myself.

and it's now, i realised, i have never fully comprehend the true meaning of these 2 very simple words.

loving yourself means being kind to yourself, in more ways than just satisfying one's material needs. it's about a person's physical well being and mental state. why starve yourself and get gastric? why drink yourself silly, act stupid and get a horrible hangover the next day? why sleep late and allow yourself to look haggard and old? why get heart broken by people whom dont give a damn about you?

why let yourself suffer..?

and it's what i've experienced in the past year, that finally made me realised, i should be kinder to myself. i should stop torturing my body.

two of my colleagues are in their early forties and they have stopped drinking completely. one had alcohol poisoning and was hospitalised for 2 weeks. another one has high blood pressure. it's only when shit happened, that they decided it was time to stop.

another one drank, fell asleep and got into an accident just last night. thankfully though the car is probably in ruins now, he is complete in one piece, except for an insignificant cut on the finger.

but what if..just what if..any one of them werent that lucky...

oh well..so just love yourself. you deserve better.

i realise, to my horror, that i'm becoming lazier and lazier.

it's becoming tougher to summon the same amount of enthusiasm that i had previously.

bit by bit, i can feel it sapping...

it just further affirms my previous post.

sigh, it's not that easy as it seems..is it..

is it worse to not know what to do at all, or to know what to do, but are just too stubborn to change yourself to do the right thing?

is it inflexibility...is it pride...or is it arrogance?

people management or self management

late nights, fatigue and mounting pressure are making my fuse shorter and shorter. it's getting harder to keep my cool in place and to hide my frustration. i'm finding it harder to rationalise with myself the advantages of patience. it just doesnt pay off. this stems from my strength/weakness (you can call it either way) that i'm always on the ball, striving to push things forward, yet time and time again obstacles are hindering my intended progress.

sigh.


and that's why he said, people management is always the hardest of all. or perhaps, it's SELF-management that is the most difficult. you can't change others, so you can only change yourself.