i'm feeling...demoralised. i can do better than this, i know i can. i'm falling short of my expectations, and that sucks.

spent a lazy day with dearie. he finally finished his last paper this morning. went for a casting, which wasnt very satisfactory. the dress they gave me to wear was a very lovely tube silk dress from warehouse, which i have fallen in love with when i saw it on the mannequin. however if i wasnt mistaken, the dress should cost around $200+? pricey! unfortunately though the dress was lovely, it was size 10, and it was hanging loose on my frame. sigh, hardly flattering at all. it was during the interview that i realised how unimpressive my portfolio was.

next hurdle to conquer was prejudging on sat for miss chinatown, which i missed on sat because of my paper. i had it easier than the rest of the girls, because i didnt have to wear a bikini, and i had only 3 judges instead of 9 posing questions at me. the three men were nice people, and it was a rather informal session. i was supposed to answer all the questions in mandarin, but ahh i mixed english with chinese. sigh should have kept a more conscious effort to speak mandarin only.

so i spent a lazy day today. i've got my schedule planned out for this week.