emotional

it has been a while since i last blog. last week has been hectic, as usual. i need to tell myself that it's ok not to have free time, it's ok if i dont pack every slot of my day to the brim. someone told me recently, that i'm a different person now..and that he is starting to lose me. i'm drifting further and further away. i asked him, so what exactly is different about me? was i kind in the past, and evil now? was i fat, and now skinny? the fact is, they cant be stated down explicitly. it's felt. it's not visible. it's psychologically, it's mental, and it's all in the head. the head is a powerful tool eh.

i feel different too. a well concocted, an impenetrable mask, that i'm forced to put on at certain times in order to protect myself. it's survival instincts. nonetheless, under that seemingly composed veneer, i know i'm still me. i still cry, i still blush, i still care, i still hurt...

it's beneficial in certain ways that i've learnt the art, but on the flip side, it is eating away my soul, piece by piece..

it was today when i truly experienced an upheaval of emotions. i'm a tear-baby. once i start, it takes little more to trigger off another stream of tears.

things just aint going well. studies are going dismally downhill. my last test was a disaster, i think i topped the cohort, from the back. the worst thing is that i know i'm capable of better results. this is not me.

ok enough of this. i hate to mourn over spilled milk.

btw just to address people who have tagged on my tagboard, it certainly has been entertaining recently, so thanks for the entertainment value. besides that, i really got nothing more to say. if i say i dont care, it's gonna sound pretty dumb cos if i dont care, i wont say i dont care..but the actual fact is, i really dont care. hah.

to my dearest, whom i've celebrated my first one yr anniversary with last thurs, we've come so far..the road has certainly not been without its obstacles, yet we're still together. thank you for your tolerance..i dont know how this relationship would have survived without that. happiness.. :)

may i also mention that we watch 'the break-up' at starlight cinema. what an ironic show to watch on our big day. nonetheless i enjoyed the show, even though it wasnt the usual fairy tale happily ever after sort of ending. i found it extremely realistic and close to life..it's so real!! miscommunication between two people who clearly are in love, resulting in breaking up when one party has finally had enough.. "i've nothing left to give you..."

ok just to update on the numerous photo shoots i've been doing for the past few weeks. if u think u're going to scream seeing me neck up, then i suggest you close this page NOW. dont say i didnt warn you..


the most recent one i did on sat. it's a happy happy smile.
to give credits to the photogs, this pic is taken by rongren.



they called me the ah go go girl. retro is in.
taken by: yong tat


this was about 3 weeks ago..
taken by: colin


jump for joy
taken by: tommy

the rest of the pics are taken by phoa.

taken in a tub, my fav bikini at the moment.


contemplative, dont i look sad?


i look incredibly skinny here.


one last look at you, before i go..