crisis

arg. i'm undergoing a period of low self-esteem. these days, more often than not, i feel UGLY, STUPID and BROKE. ugly because..arg shallnt explain. stupid because i've got work piling up and i am having difficulty understanding them. plus the fact that i'm taking biostats this sem but i have no calculator in hall..so how am i going to do my tutorials?? ok so i tried using excel to calculate..was ok for some qn, not ok for others, somehow something screwed up and my answers turned out all different. also, i have NO TBS. it's pretty amazing to some people how i could possibly manage withbout purchasing a single tb so far in my nus life. but..oh well..if you never had one, you definitely can live without it. but right now.....

mum was telling me i should be doing much better in sch than what my results have reflected. afterall i'm from rj right..and i was a pretty good student then too..hmMM..ya i was, at least in j2 la, when i managed to catch up on my work. but right now i seemed to have lost it. lost IT. the IT to study and work hard and get good results. from my own analysis, i think the prob lies with the fact that there isn't any motivation, or reason for me to work hard. in jc, it was important to work hard for A levels so i would get into a good uni. but so what, so what if i did well in As, i still end up in NUS like everyone else. and i could do that easily with not-so-good grades as well. so WHAT'S the POINT of studying so hard in rj?? of course one reason is..to meet up to my own self expectations.. but.. HAIZ. whatever. i'm still stuck in NUS.