be angry will ya!

something zixuan said today struck me, and stuck by me until now. she said i'm a boh chup person by nature. doesnt mean i dont care about my family, my friends, my bf, my future, my studies..hmm ok i'm boh chup abt my studies.. anyway you get what i mean? i do care about the BIG and essential things in life, but i'm mostly unconcerned about small minor details that i feel arent important enough for me to place my attention on.

good and bad.

good cos..less wrinkles next time? you lost my top, yes i'll be miffed, but i can always buy another one. you scold me a goondu head, fine i'll be seething at first, but i know i'm good, so who cares what you think. you laugh at my ignorance, i admit i can be ignorant about certain affairs, but who knows everything. you hate my dress sense, but what the hell, i wear what i like! you're late for an hour, angry yes, but lost time is time lost, no point brooding over it, so why not get over it. you betrayed me, but hatred shortens my life, so i choose longevity over exuding negative energy. you insult me, let you say what you want lar, cant be bothered.

i thought i was being kuan rong da liang, haha, but others who dont know me as well mistaken it as nonchalence.

bad cos..yeah some people think i just dont care. it's weird. sometimes people are angry with me because they think i should be angry over the injustice done to me but the fact is..i'm not bothered by it? sorry? is it my fault that some things just dont bother me as much as you think they should? i mean.. come on.. get on with life. i cant pretend i'm angry when i'm not. everything you do, everything you say, it's ok..things pass..unless it gets unbearably annoying and out of hand.. when the bomb explodes, i'll give you a tight slap.

ok. this is getting weirder by the sec you must think. just the previous entry i was talking about how angry i was. haha. n now i'm talking about having a problem being angry. what is MY problem?

the problem is, sometimes you expect the people around you to be LIKE you. is it just a prob w me? or w most people in general? for example, when someone loses my top, i wont deem it as a big deal. vice versa, when i lose someone's top, i'll expect that person to take it as easy as i did. but if that person flares up and refuses to talk to me for days, i'll start thinking.."why is she so petty... it's just a top.. not like i really scolded her when she lost mine?". you get really angry when i was late for 10 mins.. "i didnt even complain when she was late for an hour, so why is she whinning like a sick kitten (wanted to say dog but it sounds crude) just cos i'm late for 10 mins??"

get what i mean. just random analogies, to make my point. do you term that as double standards? sth negative and morally incorrect. or is it just wrong to impose your standards on other people?

is pettiness really pettiness.. or is it just.. a difference in view points? something you deem as unimportant might weigh differently in the eyes of another.

have you lost you somewhere...