Thoughts

Time really passes damn fast.. It's going to be oct soon, half a sem is over, and maybe with just another blink of the eye, the entire year 1 in NUS would have ended, just like that.. Time is passing too fast.. I wish to slow time down, because I'm enjoying myself..:)

The past week was our mid term break. I stayed in hall the entire week even though I wasn't exactly expecting myself too. Thought I would stay at home to pass more time with my family. -shrug- But since so many of my friends are in hall for me to hang around with, I stayed.

Celebrated terence's birthday with the pageant people last night. We are really a close knit group..it feels good to hang out together like that. Life in science would have been much boring without them..without terence and wenyan to crap with during lsm lects, and to constantly remidn me when our tests are, and send me lab reports for 'reference'..without sean there would be no one to ferry us around, and life would be a lot quieter too haha.

Watched xin jing cha gu shi, the jackie chan show with some of the hall people after that. Nice show. I hang around with the law guys pretty often now, because I'm particularly close to siwei, who is of course a law guy himself, and stay just below me. We can clique really well. Like I told him, there's just this thing between us that makes us snap. Chemistry? That's what make some friends, and others aquaintances. He is so sweet to me, like how a big brother would take care of his sister. Hmm hehe. Actually I feel pretty bad, always eating up his mooncakes and chocolates, and dropping crumbs all over his room. Oh well..

I have 2 tests next week. I haven't officially started..maybe just..read a bit of the notes here and there. But haiya..I don't know..I just cant get into the mood to study. I feel distracted and restless, even when I'm alone, like today.. It stresses me to see how terence and wenyan study. Haiyo. Results don't really matter to me that much, as long as I don't do THAT badly. Dean's list or not, what's the difference? Ok different mentality..bad mentality... Luckily I still fare pretty well for my chem test...phew...

I will miss hall life soo much when I leave..if I ever don't get to stay..I know it's a bit early to say this, but time really seem to be zooming past me that I think the academic year will end before I know it. I actually don't mind just staying in hall the whole time, not coming home at all...In hall, it feels like I'm playing and having fun all the time.

I almost wish I'm in law. The people are so much more fun and happening than those in science. And you actually can form a clique from law. Life science cohort is so huge that you see different people in every single lects. There's no way you can actually form a close group of friends just from science. Not so bad for me, cos I have the pageant people. I wonder how those who don't take part in outside activities survive. Won't it be damn boring?? Oh well I guess if you don't stay in hall, you would probably join a cca or sth. Anyway reverting back to law, it's just a passing thought, I won't really want to be in it cos..I have absolutely no interest in it, and seeing the books they study further extingiush my desire.

You know what, I still miss him. I still think of him every now and then. In fact I think about him every day. Things happen, I see things that remind me of what he has said, what we have done together, what he likes, what he gave me.. but slowly and gradually, I'm replacing my wallpaper, I'm throwing away dried flowers, I've kept the photos in my drawer...yes slowly and gradually..I'm putting him away. Sam told me I should email him to get an answer. A closure at least so I can move on. I didn't do it, I don't think I would. Initially I would feel miserable everytime I think about him, trying to play guessing game with myself.. Does he think about me as much as I think of him? Does he still love me? I realise..even if I did ask him, it wouldn't matter..the fact remains, he is not going to be back...for a long time...and nothing he says, would make me give up, or forget him. But life goes on. He has his own life, I have mine. I won't forget him, but I won't let him take over my life. I've kept him in a corner of my heart, a beautiful memory..focus on the right things in life. One day, perhaps one day when I see him again, I'll take out this piece of memory from my heart, and let it be rejuveanted, or die..

I've wrote a lot today, make up for the past week..too much thoughts, too little time to express..