you

i cant help it, i told myself to get over with it, but i'm still brooding over the incident.

i'm in a dilemma. my pride and stubbornness tell me that i have done nothing wrong; the problem isnt with me, the problem lies with her. i have no reason to compromise. i refuse to change.

deep down inside, i know that by doing nothing, the situation would simply remain stagnant. to be honest, i havent exactly been doing nothing. my indifference is something. my obvious nonchalance must surely have been felt. i know i have been silently provocative, yet feigning a perfectly innocent front.

but how do you expect me to be even decently polite to someone who has insulted me time and time again? how do you ask me to fend off accusations that hold so much bias, injustice and untruth? how do you tell me to stand someone, who in my opinion, is petty, narrow minded, snobbish, LOUD and so bloody insensitive and disrespectful?

respect has to be earned, not assumed. for someone who has robbed every shred of my dignity, she doesnt deserve my respect.

of all accusations, she hit one nail on the head: i dislike her, and she dislikes me.

i detest her for everything i have mentioned above. and most of all, i detest her for hurting you.

i admit i havent been trying. i dont feel like trying, and i dont want to try.

yes, i refuse.

the only reason i'm even considering, is because of you.

you are the only reason why i will consider casting away my dignity and my pride to try.

perhaps i will. but not right now, because i can still feel the salt on the wounds. because though i may be able to forgive, i wont be able to forget.