forbidden love

i can forsee that the library is going to be my second home this week. spent today in the library with shoonie, jackson, fulin, joyce and anning doing some hard core mugging. boring..

been going home these days because parents are abroad, and i'm supposed to be home at nights to look after my sis. quite a hassle to travel back and fro from sch..but oh well..the word is responsibility. what is more important than family?

my sis likes this guy from her church but they cant be together because apparently some person in her cell group (or ok, the general consensus) said they are too young to enter a relationship.. initally..i found that ridiculous.. too young?? the boy is 18. but she said.."what if he changes after he enters army?", "what if i get hurt in the end?", "we are supposed to wait till after NS.."..

i was like.."why?? you should just do whatever you want..it's your life..and who is to say things will turn out the way you think it would..you never know what will happen." how would you know it wont work out if you dont take a chance? why torture yourself? in life, you have to meet a few wrongs ones, to learn what you really want..before you can actually meet the right one..

however after much contemplation..perhaps my 16 yr old sis who looks like she is 13 yr old, possibly makes more sense than i do.. perhaps this mentality that i'm trying to impress on her, does not result in the wisest decisions made..

and it is why i am who i am today.

perhaps if there had been someone to tell me how things work, it wouldnt have been like this. perhaps if i havent been stubborn and bent on my own opinions, it wouldnt have been like this.

i have always been taking risks. uncalculated risks. thinking that even if eventually it doesnt work out, i'll still gain something out of it. isnt life all about experiencing? but..is it worth it? perhaps some insurance would have been wiser.. it would definitely have been better for the mental health.

the subject of rich friends came up over dinner today. rich. money. big houses. big cars. important? do they really matter so much? honestly, i still feel that the grass is always greener on the other side. not that anyone would mind having lots n lots of money, but eventually one day when you have it, you'll think that it's no big deal. life always works this way..doesnt it..