now or future

was on the bus to sci this morning when i overheard this guy talking to his friend, about the internship he did last summer. he was saying all he did then was to surf the net and nothing really constructive, and so it was quite 'shiok'. seriously dont you think it's quite meaningless if you go to such internships and you dont learn anything at all? just sit around, do nothing, wasting your youth. ya but a lot of people do that, for the sake of their resumes.

so there are 2 types of students - the laid back sort who bums around during hols, and the proactive sort who goes hunting for internships and attachments in hopes of enhancing their chances of employment upon graduation. good and bad, no wrong or right, a matter of choice. i think i belong more to the first class.. i do work, but i work..for..fun! and money of course. not for my 'future'.

been thinking about what would become of me when i graduate. and it's a little freaking me out. i'm torn between living for the present, just enjoying the 'now', and planning for the future.

especially when i see so many of my friends, who have their lives paved out nice and smooth ahead of them already...

sometimes i blame myself for being so passive. sometimes i think there can so much more that i can achieve, if i bothered to make the effort to. 10 years down the road, would i turn back and say to myself, "i wish i have done this when i was still young.."?

that would be so SAD.

sigh. think i should do something about it. but right now, since exams are approaching, i have an excuse to put all my dreams and fantasies on hold for a while. :)