the pains of inadequacy

met up with my ex rgs classmates today. one from nus medicine, dad is a private surgeon. just returned from a tour in europe. another reading law in cambridge, both parents are dentists. the third: engineering in imperial. heard she top her cohort. and the last, nus life sciences, poor grades, broke and has never stepped foot in europe before.

that's me.

sigh.

sometimes i got to remind myself that not being able to go abroad to study, is not because i'm any lousier, but because i'm not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. and of course also because i'm not superbly smart enough to get a scholarship.

alright i'm complaining. think abt the poor kids in africa who has no food to eat.. think about the child workers in china.. yadayada..

but i cant help but feel that life is so UNFAIR SOMETIMES. damn it. why cant i buy anything i like without having to worry about money? why cant i go to places like london and paris and japan? why cant i go overseas and study what i really want to study? why cant i have my own car? why why why..

i know it's not so bad. i'm having fun in nus. really i am. and it's not like i'm poor till the point i have to pick peanuts on the streets. just that occasionally, i want more. just that occasionally, i wish for more.

dont we all?


lunch at crystal jade..friends forever!


me and teresa