money for her

i'm officially bored, while my bf is off at some person's place playing ps 2 and my good friend, jasmine sia is probably on her way to redang island (xia ri mo mo cha)! about to enjoy the hell out of her life for the next few days with her darling. *envious*

anyway i attended a really interesting camp over the past 2 days. enlightening, inspiring, enriching, and most of these were definitely not what i expected of it initially. cant even begin to explain what i've experienced in the 2 days. i gathered, some things must be felt, it cant be put down in words. it made me think a lot, reflect a lot about my life, my goals, my past, my parents, my friends... my mum especially..

thinking about how inconsiderate and selfish i was in the past, especially during my teenage years. me insisting on working at pizza hut..in retrospect, i dont think i'll let my daughter work at pizza hut at the age of 14 when i become a mother. coming home in the wee hours of the night.. going clubbing! there was once i got slapt by my dad when i came home at 3am after clubbing, stinking of cigratte smoke and alcohol. staying over at chalets with ah lians and ah bengs.. oh well of course they dont know who i hang out with.. i was stubborn beyond words. a rock. i want this means this. i wont budge no matter how you push me. (actually i'm still like that now..but i'm a lot more reasonable and sensible..) as long as i think what i'm doing is right, i dont care what you think, even if you dont understand, i dont give a damn. eh, rather disrespectful huh. i was such a selfish pig.. i thought i knew what i was doing. i always want things my own way. i placed my fun above all else. i had this mentality that i should play as hard as i can while young, with no consideration about how my parents would feel.

well i did know what i was doing. cos i emerged out from my teenage years pretty unblemished. hmm. i think so lar.

but i must have made my mum so upset..so many times..sigh.. *guilt guilt guilt*

anyway. move on. i'm 20. a grown up girl now. :)

money is something that i want, and i need, for survival.. but i dont need it excessively. i want, but i dont need. it's really not that important to me, you know. so many things come before money. my loved ones, experience, health, happiness. but i learnt something. money can enhance love. from a wise man,"money is like the appetitiser, something you can do without, but if you have it occasionally, you'll feel that the meal is especially delightful, and complete."

so i want to earn lots of money. so that my mum and dad wont have to work anymore. my mum is always telling me how much she would like to just stay at home and slack. be a housewife! but my dad never had the initative and ability to allow her such luxury.. so i want to earn lots of money. let her stay at home and shake leg, watch all those deary korean drama serials that she likes, go on holiday as often as she wants..

i want to live in a penthouse, with breathtaking sceneries of the city lights.. i want to go all parts of the world, to take a breath of air on the other side of the globe.. i want to do what i want, and not being burdened by money..

i want i want..