i realised i like to measure things.. but some things like love, can't be measured.. "you feed me porridge, i feed you satay", "you scratch my back, so i tickle your sole".. ok just stuff that i cook up at the spur of the moment.. you cant always take back what you give.. you shouldnt always judge how much to give from the amount you receive.. you cant always measure what you take or give.. that's the prob with me. i try to give as much as what the other party gives.. and not unconditionally.. it's a defensive stance! a balanced love.. but..does 'balanced love' exist? afraid of giving too much and finding it's all not worth it in the end.. afraid of giving too little and letting the other person feel unappreciated..

watching lord of the rings on tv now. dear stayed over at my place last night (in separate rooms!). we ate lunch at my place and went shopping in town. i wanted to shop but it ended up with him buying an adidas beanie and this sports magazine which featured the safsa guys during one of the matches. there was a photo of him! though it was rather tiny but it seemed as if a lot of friends were able to recognise him. i window shopped, but nothing really attracted me, or stimulated the impulse in me to spend my precious money! it's so weird, there are so many things i want to buy, but i have nothing specific in mind.. hmm mm..

lovely afternoon sun.. doubt my bf shared the same thought as me since he is already charcoal black. it was nice just walking along the streets of orchard, walking hand in hand with the boy i adore.. i felt truly relaxed then.. haha oh no i sound like a xin fu de xiao nu ren.

went back to his place later. he slept while i studied. i'm amazed at the number of hours he can sleep a day. i was acting a bit weird, like getting petty over tiny affairs. ok guys like to say they dont understand girls at times. true enough, sometimes i dont understand why i act the way i do. it's just..like that lor? no reason.. hmm i'm weird, girls are weird. as fabian likes to say "chu pattern liao". haha..