i just want to be fair to you... someone once told me grey is dysfunctional. i shouldnt have let things moved on to this stage. it's cruel. i am not sure whether saying those things is any less cruel.. i'm sorry. i'm so so so sorry... to tell you the truth, i've actually contemplated putting away all my doubts, n starting afresh. you're worth it you know. ur feelings for me overwhelm me, to that point that sometimes u just leave me speechless. but.. i cant escape..the clutches of fear..of qualms..of memories.. the silent tears in the dark nights, wetting my pillowcase.. the excruciating pain of loneliness and loss.. the haunting memories.. the fist clenching my heart.. clasped, squeezed, crashed..

i know u wouldnt let me down. it's me. not u.

a lost soul prefers to be lost herself. not lead others further into the unknown. 2 endings: happiness or sorrow even more unbearable.

the lost soul chose to end. rather than risk encountering the unbearable.