like a frog peering out from a well
his sky is what he sees
and that was my sentiment exactly
sigh.
i'm feeling pampered these days. :)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
"the break-up"
watched the movie "the break up" on sunday. it's my second time watching it. i always thought i liked the movie because it is so realistic. i totally could relate to how jennifer ainston/brooke felt when she was trying to explain to gary the problem and she got so frustrated because he totally couldn't get it.
"i want you to WANT to do the dishes!"
"why would i WANT to do the dishes?!"
the first time i watched it, i was on brooke's side that gary was in the wrong. he was insensitive and childish and taking her for granted. but watching it with dearie again, made me see things from the guy's perspective. brooke may not technically have done anything wrong but she made the mistake of not actually telling him what went wrong.
Brooke: I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.
Gary: Why didn't you just say that to me?
Brooke: I tried. I've tried.
Gary: Never like that, you might have said some things that meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader...
Brooke: It wouldn't matter you are who you are. Just leave me alone ok? Right now, just shut my door.
there's the problem with us, girls. sometimes we like to make too many assumptions. sometimes we just assume that the root of the problem is sooo plain obvious and the guy should be able to read our minds and see what's wrong immediately. we forget the fact that the mind of the male anatomy is wired differently from us. and then we come up with our little self-concocted mind games and schemes to MAKE the guy see the point. sometimes they are successful, sometimes they are not. and when they are not, we point the finger at them and scream," you dont understand me at all!" perhaps sometimes, we should just throw the facts at them. save time, save energy, save potential heartaches and tears.
"i want you to WANT to do the dishes!"
"why would i WANT to do the dishes?!"
the first time i watched it, i was on brooke's side that gary was in the wrong. he was insensitive and childish and taking her for granted. but watching it with dearie again, made me see things from the guy's perspective. brooke may not technically have done anything wrong but she made the mistake of not actually telling him what went wrong.
Brooke: I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.
Gary: Why didn't you just say that to me?
Brooke: I tried. I've tried.
Gary: Never like that, you might have said some things that meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader...
Brooke: It wouldn't matter you are who you are. Just leave me alone ok? Right now, just shut my door.
there's the problem with us, girls. sometimes we like to make too many assumptions. sometimes we just assume that the root of the problem is sooo plain obvious and the guy should be able to read our minds and see what's wrong immediately. we forget the fact that the mind of the male anatomy is wired differently from us. and then we come up with our little self-concocted mind games and schemes to MAKE the guy see the point. sometimes they are successful, sometimes they are not. and when they are not, we point the finger at them and scream," you dont understand me at all!" perhaps sometimes, we should just throw the facts at them. save time, save energy, save potential heartaches and tears.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
my valentine
thank you my dearest.
'life can be so simple, isnt it?'
yeah if only life is always this simple.
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃
i dont want to have to convince you that this is right.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
revelations
i know i should take it the positive way, to spur myself to prove my worth, but i really cant help it...
i feel dejected.
i hate being judged.
'the less trodden path is always the most difficult one, isnt it?'
i feel dejected.
i hate being judged.
梁静茹 - 勇气
终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃
爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里你的真心
如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你
'the less trodden path is always the most difficult one, isnt it?'
Monday, February 11, 2008
comprehension
i finally understand. as we grow older, as we reach different stages of our lives, we become wiser, and we see things differently. in the past, i was willful and stubborn. i always wanted things my way. i thought that as long as i am not doing something 'wrong', i should be allowed to do it, despite how it would make other people feel. but now i realised that things don't always work this way. i realised that sometimes persistence can lead to someone else's unhappiness and discomfort. and if that someone is precious and important enough to you, you would not risk anything in the world to jeopardise the relationship. because losing this precious thing, is far more scarier than losing your pride...
you would handle it with care, like you're treading on a piece of very thin ice, afraid that a wrong step would crack this piece of ice and cause you to lose it all irrevocably.
you would handle it with care, like you're treading on a piece of very thin ice, afraid that a wrong step would crack this piece of ice and cause you to lose it all irrevocably.
year of rat
this chinese new year has been rather boring, as like all the years that preceded. the usual once-a-year gathering with my relatives, except this year's reunion dinner and chu yi's bai nianing was at my place, so i could hide in my room occasionally when i feel bored. the usual polite greetings and occasional small talks were exchanged. the usual ang baos were received. well well, just about everything was the same..almost.
was at butter on friday night and it was the first time i was so sober in a club for a while. and as dearie said, "everyone on the dance floor looks so silly when you're sober." couldnt agree more, which explains why people are so obsessed with the idea of getting intoxicated. at the end of the night, i dont know whether i should feel empowered by the fact that i could walk straight; or vexed that i was not able to enter another world where i could get lost in...
nonetheless, i am glad.
春到河畔 with bf



watched the notebook on sat night. i love that show! some particular memorable quotes from it.
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?



yawns. and i'm sleepy now. what is going to happen in a few months? in a year? in 5 yrs? in 10 yrs? who knows..but as long as i'm happy now....
was at butter on friday night and it was the first time i was so sober in a club for a while. and as dearie said, "everyone on the dance floor looks so silly when you're sober." couldnt agree more, which explains why people are so obsessed with the idea of getting intoxicated. at the end of the night, i dont know whether i should feel empowered by the fact that i could walk straight; or vexed that i was not able to enter another world where i could get lost in...
nonetheless, i am glad.
春到河畔 with bf



watched the notebook on sat night. i love that show! some particular memorable quotes from it.
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?



yawns. and i'm sleepy now. what is going to happen in a few months? in a year? in 5 yrs? in 10 yrs? who knows..but as long as i'm happy now....
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
the past
today, my past caught up with me.
when i first heard such accusations made upon myself, my immediate reaction was anger - red, burning flames that got me speechless. why can't people just mind their own business? why do they have so much to say about my life?? but the answer is obvious isnt it. all of us love to gossip, boys and girls alike. and i have given people much to gossip about me. the annoying thing is truth often gets distorted as words passed on from ear to ear. they are misinterpreted, exaggerated and reinvented. which also explains why we have the game 'broken telephone' (or is it called broken telephone line?)...and also how the movie 'atonement' came about, Briony misunderstanding the actions of cecilia and robbie, resulting in a mistake that changed lives forever...
ok my story is nowhere so dramatic, but you get the idea.
on deeper contemplation, i know i have no one to blame but myself. i was no angel. whatever that was said, there was probably some degree of truth in them. i could even be what they have accused me of, but being slightly self-delusional, i had always look upon such comments as if i am a third party. i have failed to acknowledge the fact that what they're describing is me, that i AM what they've described me to be. since i have never acknowledged it, obviously when i hear such comment passed about myself, my natural reaction is denial. and therefore again, i have always been able to shrug everything away without much difficulty.
anyway all the happenings felt so long ago. i would like to think that i am different now...
i was crazy, because life for me was a sky shrouded with uncertainty and grey clouds. i was walking in a mist, but i'm now trying very hard to clear the clouds and find my path of light. mind you, i'm still trying....
sorry to put you through all that.
when i first heard such accusations made upon myself, my immediate reaction was anger - red, burning flames that got me speechless. why can't people just mind their own business? why do they have so much to say about my life?? but the answer is obvious isnt it. all of us love to gossip, boys and girls alike. and i have given people much to gossip about me. the annoying thing is truth often gets distorted as words passed on from ear to ear. they are misinterpreted, exaggerated and reinvented. which also explains why we have the game 'broken telephone' (or is it called broken telephone line?)...and also how the movie 'atonement' came about, Briony misunderstanding the actions of cecilia and robbie, resulting in a mistake that changed lives forever...
ok my story is nowhere so dramatic, but you get the idea.
on deeper contemplation, i know i have no one to blame but myself. i was no angel. whatever that was said, there was probably some degree of truth in them. i could even be what they have accused me of, but being slightly self-delusional, i had always look upon such comments as if i am a third party. i have failed to acknowledge the fact that what they're describing is me, that i AM what they've described me to be. since i have never acknowledged it, obviously when i hear such comment passed about myself, my natural reaction is denial. and therefore again, i have always been able to shrug everything away without much difficulty.
anyway all the happenings felt so long ago. i would like to think that i am different now...
i was crazy, because life for me was a sky shrouded with uncertainty and grey clouds. i was walking in a mist, but i'm now trying very hard to clear the clouds and find my path of light. mind you, i'm still trying....
sorry to put you through all that.
Friday, February 01, 2008
floating
There are so many options in life that sometimes we spend so much time considering them, we forget that the only way to succeed is to focus.
that's me. met up with clifford yesterday and he totally hit the nail on the head about me and my current situation.
i'm floating. i need to anchor myself down and stop thinking that every ocean i go to i can find something better.
in the end i just end up lost again, not knowing exactly what i want.
i once believed that if i set my mind on a goal, i will go all out to pursue it simplemindedly. i was once like that. am i still like that? it has been so long since i have an unwavering agenda that i've almost forgotten how hunger and desire to succeed should feel like.
to live life passionately...
SIGH!
the person y0u're with should make you want to become a better person.
that's me. met up with clifford yesterday and he totally hit the nail on the head about me and my current situation.
i'm floating. i need to anchor myself down and stop thinking that every ocean i go to i can find something better.
in the end i just end up lost again, not knowing exactly what i want.
i once believed that if i set my mind on a goal, i will go all out to pursue it simplemindedly. i was once like that. am i still like that? it has been so long since i have an unwavering agenda that i've almost forgotten how hunger and desire to succeed should feel like.
to live life passionately...
SIGH!
the person y0u're with should make you want to become a better person.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
this time..
i'm still full of doubts really, whether this would work out. were we too impulsive? have we given this enough thought? but i do get this feeling that both of us have came to a stage when we have seen enough and experienced enough, and we both know what we're looking for. we just dont know what we've found what we are looking for.
and so he said, he will try. for now, that's good enough for me.
i'm happy, and that's all that matters.
this time, i'm gonna make sure it's different.
and so he said, he will try. for now, that's good enough for me.
i'm happy, and that's all that matters.
this time, i'm gonna make sure it's different.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
attraction
love is such a strange quality isnt it.
sometimes we think the person we like must have A, B, C...but love certainly doesnt work this way. when you meet someone for the first time, sometimes there is this inexplicable, strong magnetic attraction. you feel drawn to the person, and you have no explanation for it. is it because he looks good in that white shirt? is it because of his big, puppy eyes? is it because how the way he smiles? what is it???
it's beyond logic.
for most people, you either encounter a like-pole repulsion, or reach a neutrality point, but for him, it seems like a south pole and north pole are placed in a magnetic field - attraction.\
a RANDOM post.
sometimes we think the person we like must have A, B, C...but love certainly doesnt work this way. when you meet someone for the first time, sometimes there is this inexplicable, strong magnetic attraction. you feel drawn to the person, and you have no explanation for it. is it because he looks good in that white shirt? is it because of his big, puppy eyes? is it because how the way he smiles? what is it???
it's beyond logic.
for most people, you either encounter a like-pole repulsion, or reach a neutrality point, but for him, it seems like a south pole and north pole are placed in a magnetic field - attraction.\
a RANDOM post.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
raining tuesday
my blog is getting boring these days. it seems i'm finding it harder and harder to conjure up interesting stuff to write about my life. sigh, is my life really that mundane these days? not really i guess, but maybe i'm expecting too much.
the weather is crazy these days. one minute i'm walking on the streets, perspiring under the scorching hot sun; the next second it starts to pour cats and dogs.
and i feel like going on a holiday...AGAIN. but i have to restrain myself. i have already pledged that 2008 is gonna be a year of more stability, in every sense. think i have had my fair share of travel adventures in 2007. but........the likes of japan and korea are calling out to me....lalala...
the weather is crazy these days. one minute i'm walking on the streets, perspiring under the scorching hot sun; the next second it starts to pour cats and dogs.
and i feel like going on a holiday...AGAIN. but i have to restrain myself. i have already pledged that 2008 is gonna be a year of more stability, in every sense. think i have had my fair share of travel adventures in 2007. but........the likes of japan and korea are calling out to me....lalala...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
lalala
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
the perfect life
i wonder how it's like, to seem like one is leading the perfect life
just came back from dinner/dessert with the vj boys, gw and terence. gw really does seem to be leading THE perfect life! i can be sure i'm safe writing these cos he just mentioned he doesnt read blogs haha. he is a practising doc, albeit still a relatively new one. he just got engaged recently and is holding his wedding this coming nov. no money woes, no love woes...what more can you ask for in life?
i tried to recall a time in my life when everything seemed perfect. i'm sure there has been a time when an outsider would look into the window and could find nothing wrong. but the fact is, there is always something wrong.
peer into the window a house and see a happy family enjoying your dinner. but who knows what really goes on inside this house?
perhaps the father just got retrenched, the mum has cervical cancer, the dog just died, the sister lost a million bucks in stocks.....ok that's painting the worst case scenario. what i'm trying to say is that you never really know unless you're part of it. and even when you're really part of it, you may not really know because everyone has a part of their lives they do not wish to share with anyone else.
sometimes it could be as minor as the nitty-gritties in life that add up and continue to irk you. like a colleague at work with an annoying high pitched voice that you cant stand working with; or just the mundaneness of the life; or one day you wake up and realise you dont know what the hell you're doing and you dont know what you're doing will get you to...
sigh sigh.
i'm at a crossroad of my life. whatever decision i choose to make now will affect the rest of my life. there is so much uncertainty, so much instability. i'm seeking advice, but yet i was told i should trust my own instincts. i'm a little lost, i'm a little confused. what's right? what is wrong? what will work? what will not? should i trust myself, or should i believe in the experienced?
i'm so vexed, that i think i'm close to giving in to the convention. stability, is something i long for now.
just came back from dinner/dessert with the vj boys, gw and terence. gw really does seem to be leading THE perfect life! i can be sure i'm safe writing these cos he just mentioned he doesnt read blogs haha. he is a practising doc, albeit still a relatively new one. he just got engaged recently and is holding his wedding this coming nov. no money woes, no love woes...what more can you ask for in life?
i tried to recall a time in my life when everything seemed perfect. i'm sure there has been a time when an outsider would look into the window and could find nothing wrong. but the fact is, there is always something wrong.
peer into the window a house and see a happy family enjoying your dinner. but who knows what really goes on inside this house?
perhaps the father just got retrenched, the mum has cervical cancer, the dog just died, the sister lost a million bucks in stocks.....ok that's painting the worst case scenario. what i'm trying to say is that you never really know unless you're part of it. and even when you're really part of it, you may not really know because everyone has a part of their lives they do not wish to share with anyone else.
sometimes it could be as minor as the nitty-gritties in life that add up and continue to irk you. like a colleague at work with an annoying high pitched voice that you cant stand working with; or just the mundaneness of the life; or one day you wake up and realise you dont know what the hell you're doing and you dont know what you're doing will get you to...
sigh sigh.
i'm at a crossroad of my life. whatever decision i choose to make now will affect the rest of my life. there is so much uncertainty, so much instability. i'm seeking advice, but yet i was told i should trust my own instincts. i'm a little lost, i'm a little confused. what's right? what is wrong? what will work? what will not? should i trust myself, or should i believe in the experienced?
i'm so vexed, that i think i'm close to giving in to the convention. stability, is something i long for now.
Monday, December 31, 2007
smile to 2008
had a small gathering with a few of my bestest friends, to celebrate in advance, my 23rd bday, and i guess also the end of 2007.
23..gosh..i'm certainly catching up on age! the tragedy of being an early born baby; the first one to entertain the calamity of being a year older.
this year was a hell of a roller coaster ride. so many changes; too many changes. too many adaptations required, too much tears shed, too little joy felt, too many failings, too little faith.
2008 had better be a better year.
to my fantastic friends (counting no. of yrs i've know you):
andre (j1 till now, 6 yrs): my diligent bday planner and confidant in times of crisis, i'm sorry the shirt i bought for you can fit 1.5 times of you...hehehe.
jas (PY till now, 16 yrs): my bestest friend who although can be very ZHONG SHE QING YOU at times, hahaha, do show support when i need her too.
zx (same, 16 yrs): although you missed the dinner yesterday...hmm...ok i cant think what to thank you for leh, hahah..ok la i enjoy crapping with you. :D
ck (nus yr 2 till now, 2.5 yrs): i can always count on you eh...hope you find a job that you wont be so sian of..
ter (nus yr 1 till now, 3.5yrs): the times in america were unforgettable..and i did return you the money liao ok...
chris (modelling till now, 1 yr): life would be a lot duller without your lame jokes, but jokes aside, i wouldnt have had the courage to do as much as i did without you.
shoonie (nus yr 2 till now, 2.5 yrs): the person who stood with me at the top of effiel tower..how could i ever forget you or put what i really feel/felt for you in a few words?
my rgs friends, teresa/qi/sarah/manda/rach (rgs sec 3 till now, 8 yrs): some of the nicest people i know, with me through the days we plough around in our pinafores at far east plaza, until now...
life would be different without any one of you.
oh wellies.....SMILE.
23..gosh..i'm certainly catching up on age! the tragedy of being an early born baby; the first one to entertain the calamity of being a year older.
this year was a hell of a roller coaster ride. so many changes; too many changes. too many adaptations required, too much tears shed, too little joy felt, too many failings, too little faith.
2008 had better be a better year.
to my fantastic friends (counting no. of yrs i've know you):
andre (j1 till now, 6 yrs): my diligent bday planner and confidant in times of crisis, i'm sorry the shirt i bought for you can fit 1.5 times of you...hehehe.
jas (PY till now, 16 yrs): my bestest friend who although can be very ZHONG SHE QING YOU at times, hahaha, do show support when i need her too.
zx (same, 16 yrs): although you missed the dinner yesterday...hmm...ok i cant think what to thank you for leh, hahah..ok la i enjoy crapping with you. :D
ck (nus yr 2 till now, 2.5 yrs): i can always count on you eh...hope you find a job that you wont be so sian of..
ter (nus yr 1 till now, 3.5yrs): the times in america were unforgettable..and i did return you the money liao ok...
chris (modelling till now, 1 yr): life would be a lot duller without your lame jokes, but jokes aside, i wouldnt have had the courage to do as much as i did without you.
shoonie (nus yr 2 till now, 2.5 yrs): the person who stood with me at the top of effiel tower..how could i ever forget you or put what i really feel/felt for you in a few words?
my rgs friends, teresa/qi/sarah/manda/rach (rgs sec 3 till now, 8 yrs): some of the nicest people i know, with me through the days we plough around in our pinafores at far east plaza, until now...
life would be different without any one of you.
oh wellies.....SMILE.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
get your sexy back!
went to support yy, jae and zx on wed as it was yy and jae's fyp anti-binge project at zouk. the silly thing was me and chris arrived late and the event ended 20 mins after that. there was free flow of tiger..but eh..i hate beer manz! saw some other familiar faces like daniel, destiny and justin.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
zoukout on sat
zoukout was pretty haps, but not as great as I thought it would be. i reached sentosa really late, was stuck in the jam along ecp/keppel road for almost an hour! was crazy..i think everyone was heading towards sentosa. reached at around midnight and only got in at 1.30am. hordes of people everywhere, but there was still room to breathe. everyone was clad so casually, for once there was no heels or shirts and pants, just plain slippers, summer dresses, shorts, bikinis and bers for the guys. there were four arenas, each playing different sort of music, ahh..music was just so-so.
thank god the weather was good and it didnt rain a drop!
i fell asleep at the fence behind at 5am, woke up at 7am and realised everyone was still dancing! these people are crazy, where did they get their energy from?? hello...the sun has risen..
tired souls like me resting, there were 2 gays lying on top of each other beside me..eyoo...i have nothing against homosexuality, but still....
thank god the weather was good and it didnt rain a drop!
i fell asleep at the fence behind at 5am, woke up at 7am and realised everyone was still dancing! these people are crazy, where did they get their energy from?? hello...the sun has risen..
tired souls like me resting, there were 2 gays lying on top of each other beside me..eyoo...i have nothing against homosexuality, but still....reached home at 9.30am on sunday. some people said this is the last year they are having zoukout, is that true? didnt they say that last year too? hmm.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)




























