Party frenzy

fri and sat have been crazy, but i have had lots of fun! first up i went to the sentosa flower fair on friday morning with alan and paul, my two photographer friends. we spent around 2 hours there and i took close to 200 pics of flowerrss!! amazzziinnngg... okay so here are some photos i filtered out of the 200..not very pro but..haiya cut me some slack since it's my first attempt at photography ya..

the reds










the yellows

the pinks

the purples








the greenies








and after that..i went for a second round of tanning with chee keong again...

partied at st james after that with cliff and co. it was madness too!! funnnn!

okay i still have a whole bunch of pics i took from chingay, but i guess i will leave it for the next post cos i'm so tired of uploading pics. the coming week is going to be hectic as well..4 tests plus the recordings from wed to fri. argh..i gonna manage my time well..

the next step

i'm still constantly making new discoveries about myself. i know, i'm 22, already. is a 22 year old supposed to know-it-all about herself? should i have already passed the teenage phase of discovering my 'self-identity'? i still dont know what i wanna do, where i wanna be...just when i have an inkling of oh, perhaps this is the road i want to be heading, then something comes along and tells me that it doesnt feel very right. i cant seem to make out what i really want. do i want a high powered up life, climbing corporate ladder, earning big bucks, enjoying a luxurious life? or do i want an okay, easy going life, and do the things that make my life a happy life? you know..like having a flexible life style, having time to do things, to travel, relaxed and stress free... or working late hours every night, a fast paced life, perhaps being able to travel abroad to work, having my life revolves around my career.. it's kind of like in school actually. hmm...

sigh, i'm really a neither here nor there person. it's driving me crazy.

i was just telling ryan, i think that i have it too easy in life so far, which is why i'm too lazy to even strive for anything now. because i never had to. after pri school came rgs, after rgs came rjc, after rjc came nus, i never had to fight, oh well i dont count studying hard to meet the grades 'fighting'. a smooth transition from one to the next, that's what it has all been about. i never really had to think hard about what step to take next. but NOW...i really have to work my brain cells hard. where do i go from here, in a few months' time?

jaded, i admit i've been feeling rather jaded recently. sarah asked me whether it was because i had exposure to 'life' much earlier than others. grew up too fast? i started working when i was 14. you know it's the first time you actually said something so serious to me, sarah tan?? hahah must be the semi-drunken states we were in... but anyway your words did strike a chord.. i cant give up on life... the world is BRIGHT!!! i've got to liven up! (dont worry i'm 101% not suicidal, too afraid of pain ahah..)

which is why i'll be going sentosa to take photos of the flowers tmr... hehe...

monday night



me and andre once again doing our act-cute-photowhoring. outside swensens waiting for davis and jon to come after their 'ecas'...did i mention we waited for almost 2 hours odd?? from 12 AM to 2 AM??

tuesday night

ktv with my colleagues: tracy's butt and joey


me and my wonderful wonderful boss, sean who can sing reallllyyy well!


one big happy family

wednesday night was spent crazily zouking with sarah, marvin and cheekeong, as well as chris and his french colleague who joined us later. we jumped back and fro from velvet to phuture to zouk and then to phuture again for the last 10 mins. it has been a while since i clubbed till zouk closed. it was great fun peeps! i'm not sure whether chris and the french dude enjoyed themselves as much as us... ooh but i must say it was terribly romantic to listen to the guy speak french..ummmmm~

if alcohol lowers a man's testosterone levels, why are there still so many one night stands?

hmm does it only lower the ability to perform, not the desire to perform?

my grandma is really senile. she has asked me 6 times whether she has given me an angbao.

perhaps i should just not do anything, nothing can go wrong if i dont do anything right...

sigh.

ignore me, i'm just talking in riddles.

sigh why did things turn out the way it did??? i'm so frustrated!! sigh!!

happy happy chinese new year

chu xi

on the way to reunion dinner

chu yi

my darling bro and sis, and that's me in the middle, red like an ang bao.


mum and dad

lunch at home on chu er, it has been a long long long time since our family had a meal together on the same table at the same time....

it's steamboat time! i was never particularly fond of steamboat...because i'm a lazy bum and i prefer being served!

----

i've been feeling rather hermitish. i still get bored often, i dont think i'll ever stop feeling that way, even when i'm 40 or sth... but anyway when i check up my phone to see who i can ask out to, there doesnt seem to be any appealing number to dial, or any interesting to do for that matter. ok there are always my closest friends to hang out with, the people whom i can trust with my life, but haiya..everyone has their own lives. perhaps it's just the time of the year to spend some time aloonnne. cheers to solitude. what an ironic thing to say on chinese new year.

i've been rather aloof too. choosing to ignore my msn msgs to do my own stuff, ignoring smses, ignoring phone calls, or taking hell long to reply. i'm NOT being snobbish, or thinking i'm too good to reply anyone..i'm just...i dont know...S-I-A-N. nowadays, i just feel that everyone wants something from me..especially boys. so perhaps all you boys out there, you should just stay away from me, i'm wary, until the day you've proven that you can be trusted...i shall keep away.

my darling and fulin in holland. they were on their way to cologne in germany, and should have reached by now. hope you're having a great time dearie! and i miss you soo!

oh ya i forgot, happy lunar new year to one and all! :)

"i guess at the end of the day, you can either focus on the things that keep you together, or keep you apart. either way, you have a choice."

hmm..

i'm bloody tired now, and freaking irritated. i hate it most when people owes me money. grrrr!!!

i'm so glad today is today...because it means the midterm break is here! no school for one week. it's chinese new year! angbaos = money.. and i finally dont have to wake up early tmr for work or school...i finally can sleeeeepppp all i want...so tired...

beach bummers on vday

on 14th feb, i missed the first 8am lect of the day as usual, i went for my 12pm class as usual..and since i was specially instructed by my dearest that i MUST go to sch..i was of course expecting something......but to my utmost disappointment, no one came up to me during lect to give me anything..sad.....

and then i went to meet mr chee keong for our sun tanning date at sentosa..and he was waiting for me with....

...a lovely bouquet dozen of roses!!! my bf asked him to give it to me...sooo sweeet!! thank you dearieee!

since ck's gf is at work, and my dearie is all the way in holland, i spent vday with the ck hunk...hehehe... we went sentosa and tanned at the cafe del mar. it was loveeelllyyy! the sun was good, even though we only went at around 3pm. didnt take us long to munch our bk lunch, settle down and bake in the sun.

by the pool...






cafe del mar: many tanning beds and 1 floating umbrella






thank you dearie for the flowers...missing ya...

is it possible to fall in love with unreasonable-ness?

was just watching The OC, yes my fav drama of all time, and since i've got no dates on a sunday, i figured i might as well watch it...ok so i was on season 4 of the OC, and it seemed as it everything has changed..cos marissa has died!!! sad..anyway so summer was devastated, and in coping with the loss of her best friend, she has changed into a different person since going to brown. life isnt just about shopping, tanning, the trendiest clothes of the season, cute boys...life is about saving the chickens from the slaughterhouse, protesting against cutting of the oldest tree on the campus, using solar power.... she is no longer a sucker for cleanliness.. and it's exactly how she has changed that is putting her relationship with seth hanging on a thin thread.

but she is a better person isnt she..less bickering over childish matters. she is more mature and thinking about the larger issues in life. so why are things more difficult for the new summer and seth? is it beacuse seth just isnt used to the new her yet..or is it because he is in love with the old, immature, unreasonable summer so much so that he cant cope with the new her...

and so he left. "i want you to keep on doing what you're doing..i think it's pretty amazing, so if you dont hear from me for a while, it's not beacause i dont love you, it's because i do."

tgif

this week has been rather hectic. i was so tired last night that i fell asleep in front of my lappie while blogging midway. cannoooot taakeee it! finally i'm taking a break tonight...no more clubbing!! let me just stay at home and recuperate..

so what have i been up to...tues and wed nights were spent at mediacorp. honestly for a national broadcasting centre, it's a rather boring place. didnt catch any big time stars, only a few small time ones here and there, and a lot of previous project superstars contestants. other than that, the place is akin to a ghost town. i guess everyone is probably hiding in the studios or out filming. the whole place is like a moderately sized industrial estate. please dont tell me hollywood looks like that too! i'll be extremely disappointed! but anyway it's moving to bukit gombak (close to my place!!), i'm sure the new one would look much better. guess it's always like that...i remembered when i was doing banquet at mandarin hotel a few years back, behind the splendour it looks like...an underground gambling den. haha...oops..

anyway the game i'm helping out with is called the numbers game, and it'll be starting on the 13th march, channel 8 i think. ahh it was nothing much...my job is just to open and close laptops; i'm not sure whether the camera was ever on me, perhaps for like a split second when i'm opening a laptop. oh wellies..anyway i've learnt how to appreciate a 45mins variety show, because though it might be 45 mins on tv, it actually takes close to 4 hrs to shoot. the hosts are quan yifeng and mark lee...listening to them speak can be quite entertaining...they really can talk nonsense non stop!! no situation can catch them speechless. oh but then again..i do know a few friends who are like that..the flair for always being able to find something to say.

in the studio..the round platform in the middle reminds me of who wants to be a millionaire.


move it here move it there....yawns...we were waiting for the rehearsal to start...


big big cameras


the laptop girls: sheena and me, in the mass make up room.

i'm also proud to announce that i didnt skip any classes....today!!! hehehe..*claps claps* met davis in the afternoon for lunch at vivo. beeeennn a million years since i last met youuu lar. i dont know when it'll be the next time i see you again, could be tmr, could be a few months later right..considering how busssy you are. :p anyway if you're reading this, do take care..and have fun!! i know you willl...-grins-

and so...finally the weekend is here. whoo hooo...

feeling especially tired and sleepy today. must be the result of the previous late nights. will be working for the next three days as well.. so tempted to just laze around at home.. but but.... you know... but but buts...

to my bf who is freezing over at holland..please take care of yourself, eat well, sleep well, keep warm, play hard and have fun...i miss ya so!

farewell

A wedding

raffles hotel ballroom


sparkling chandelier


the beautiful bride, her gown was lovely!


my fav kid of the night


me and my beautiful dress!


me and amber


me and jamie

as for the boyz...

andre teo and me acting spastic on the streets of orchard. had dinner at an indonesian restaurant on fri..eh hem..I PAID...


me and marvin after zouk on friday too.


me and ryan, having drinks at chijmes.

my personality

not sure what this post is gonna be about..but i just feel like blogging right now. this is one of the rare nights that i'm actually at home..time to myself, you can call it. they always say you need some time for yourself, regardless of how hectic your life is, you always need time to slow down and enjoy some therapeutic peace. nah..i dont want time..i feel lonely when i have time...:( esp at nights.

i'm a sucker for romance. throw in some candles, wine and sentimental love songs, and i'm hooked.

tried the myers-brigg personality test today. initially i thought myself to be a INFP - introvert, intuitive, feeling, perceiving. however to my surprise, the results showed otherwise, i am a ESFP. i dont really believe it, so i tried the test again, and once again, i obtained the same results. since when did i change from a IN to a ES?? honestly i dont think i'm an extrovert. i can be quiet, reserved, distant..and getting me to open up can be quite a challenge. on the other hand, i can be suppperr friendly and talkative. i'm an ambiguous person. different environment calls for different personalities. besides that, the company and my moods for the day also play a role. i was just telling ryan, either i've answered the questions based on what i want myself to be..or i've changed.ok it could be the third reason: the test isnt accurate. haha..but then again, the stuff i've been working at these days require me to be an E. there's a trigger in my brain..when the occasion calls for it, i have to tell myself to release this trigger, and to be the person i need to be.

i admit, i'm finally learning. it's a jungle out there, when you're out there alone, there's no one to help you but yourself. as much as i hate to say this, it's also a men's world out there.. women are extremely vulnerable.

it can get really tiring....being with some people saps my energy. i must be intelligent, brainy, witty, worldly, and try not to act bimbotic, ignorant..young. i must be sophisticated, and not silly. i must be able to carry a conversation, and not let it lapse into awkward silence. i must smile, and not unhappy. i must be poised, composed, confident, and not diffident, unsure and uncomfortable. act like it, and one day you'll be it. when that day comes, life would be easier. guess an indicator of whether i'm really comfortable with you, would be when i'm silly! real silly..and i start being incoherent and stupid and start talking about stuff that obviously hasnt been progressed and filtered through my brain.

clifford once told me i'm a good person. was rather puzzled by this compliment.. again..how do you define whether a person is good or not? is a son who killed the man who murdered his mum a good person? is a father who stole money so he could feed his children a good person? is someone who slept her way to the top a bad person? what are the best criteria to justify a wrong act...

life continues...

seems like the time which i have the most free time to spare is when i have an exam or test. currently at home trying to cram the numerous names of hormones into my brain. test is set at 6.30pm in the evening. i got bored of studying and so here i am, blogging..attempting to dispel some of my boredom. i've been busy the past week, juggling studies, work as well as accompanying my bf as long as i had free time to spare. roadshow on sat followed by cny work, then roadshow again on sun. an event on tues morning and another one at night. made a trip down to mediacorp yesterday as i was informed they needed girls for a game show on channel 8. easy job, just stand around and open laptops. i've only attended 2 out of 11 lectures this week.

lenny and me at icell roadshow

allison and me at chinatown

me and ashley at johnnie walker blue label king george V launch held at supreme court. we tried a sip of it and...let's just say it's not my cup of tea...spicy and smoky taste, and very potent. anyway i heard it's on limited edtion, so dont think it's sold in retail stores.

it's feb...the month of chinese new year, mid term hols..and valentine's day...!

hanging out with some of my friends last night was an eye opener, saw things that i thought i would only see in hk dramas haha. it kind of disgusted me seeing how other women can cheapen themselves this way..but on the other hand, how can we, who lead such sheltered lives, fully comprehend why others have to stoop so low for survival.. women are like meat, placed on the sacrificial table. they scream "take me! eat me!". men like predators, watching and waiting for the right opportunity to prey on their victims. no amount of money is worth my dignity.. so how much is one's dignity worth? someone offers you a million dollars to strip in the public, would you do it? would you sacrifice your pride to draw 5 figures salary a month, or would you be contented with a decent, dull job drawing thousand odd...

may i just add that i've seen some really stupid men around too? they throw their money away in thousands without qualms.. like hellooooo...these are your hard earned money.....

there are some questions in life which have no answers.

sigh ok going back to books.

this sem was supposed to be different
but it looks like i'm heading down the same path once again...:(